Routine Rules!!!  This has worked well for us especially when it comes to homework.  We have a significant amount of homework each night due to our son’s learning differences.  It has taken some time to get to this point but nightly homework now goes pretty smoothly.  We do the homework in the same place, in the same subject order at approximately the same time each night.  There is no longer the nightly battles to do the homework — it is amazing. So for those of you going through the nightly homework battle, take heart.  I believe that if you consistently pursue the homework battles and establish a routine of what, when and how — you too will achieve a point where homework is no longer a nightly battle.

I didn’t really believe that we would get to this point.  If I think back on all of the battles, the tears, and the exhaustion … thank goodness I have a stubborn streak a mile wide!!

We have also added another element to our homework routine.  Our school does offer an after-school study program.  It is a safe environment where our son can start to transition to independent homework under the close supervision of teachers.  We do this two times per week and both us and our son love it.  He gets most of his homework done at a reasonable hour and he is very proud of the fact that he is starting to transition to being an independent responsible student.  This is a concept strongly messaged and reinforced in our son’s school.  Each student is responsible for doing their work with their best effort possible.  This is expected at school and at home.  After nearly 2 years of this messaging, the responsibility concept is really starting to take root.

Now don’t get me wrong, we still have our setbacks, of course.  There are times when our son is frustrated and the fits and tears come back but they are fewer and fewer and they are much easier to handle at this point.

I know in the throes of homework battles that it is difficult to keep going.  Goodness knows that I have had my times of exhaustion when I absolutely could not fight another battle.  I had to take a break for a couple of weeks to rejuvenate and restore.  The last time this happened, I was able to hold on until the couple of weeks of break between the regular school year and school camp (where he does reading and writing throughout the summer).

If you are in the throes of battle, please keep fighting the good fight.  Establish a nightly routine of homework and try to incorporate the message that it is your child’s responsibility as a good student to do their homework and to do it to the best of their ability.  When you do hit speed bumps in this, work with your child’s teacher(s) to reinforce the responsibility message at school as well.

Good luck and until next time ….. (which will hopefully not be a couple of months like this past time ….) …. take care.

MEET CHARLIE OUR GUINEA PIG

As many of you know, having a child with ADHD or working memory issues creates a challenge when trying to get them to take responsibility for multi-instruction tasks. We have had a difficult time getting our son to be independent and to take on responsibility. Some of this is probably our fault. He works so hard with his learning disabilities and ADD that we probably baby him too much otherwise. However, he was begging – BEGGING for a guinea pig. Even though we really did not have ANY desire to have another pet in the house (we have a Havanese dog and a Beta fish), we decided to use the opportunity to teach responsibility and to increase his independence.

At the pet store, we made a very hard deal with my son. He had to take responsibility for caring for the guinea pig with my help. If he did not, then we were going to give the guinea pig away and he was going to have to pay us back for the cost out of his allowance. We emphasized the deal several times and made him repeat it back to us several times before we even bought the guinea pig. So we bought the guinea pig and named him Charlie.

Charlie is very funny and makes all sorts of noises that make us stop in our tracks! He loves to be held, loves to beg for food and enjoys playing both inside and outside in a play area that we bought for him.

The very first Saturday, when it was time to clean out Charlie’s cage, we did get push back from Griffin. I spoke with him to make sure he wasn’t scared or anxious about the task. He was refusing to take care of the cage. So we said that we were going to have to start asking around to see who wanted Charlie and walked away. Sure enough, Griff came into the kitchen to work with me on cleaning up the cage.

We decided to take pictures of Griff taking care of Charlie for two reasons. We wanted to give Griff the opportunity to share his story of responsibility with his class. Since his teacher is deathly afraid of anything rodent like, we decided to make a poster which he is going to share with his class. Second, we use the visual poster as support for Griff when it is time to take care of Charlie. It reminds him of what tasks he needs to do and it is a system that he can use independently without asking for help.

RINSE OUT THE BOTTOM OF THE CAGE WITH HOT SOAPY WATER.

PUT IN FRESH BEDDING.

PUT IN FRESH FOOD.

Visual reminders are a strong means of support for any type of task both at home and within the classroom. It gives a visual reminder and checklist yet is something the child can access independently. You can use any type of pictures when putting together a visual checklist but I find that Griff loves pictures that feature him!!

Griff has been afraid or reluctant in the past to take on tasks on his own. We are finding, however, that with visual checklists, his confidence is growing and that he actually enjoys some of the independent responsibilities he has taken on.

Now if I could only get Charlie to slow down on the pooping ….

THE COMPLETE VISUAL CHECKLIST.