http://canmombecalm.blogspot.com

Jennifer Choi has two special needs kids. Her blog posts are written in a compelling manner that shares a tremendous amount of information and wisdom. Her writing is thoughtful, information, emotional yet not dominated by emotion, if you know what I mean. She is a really terrific resource! Check her out!

Jennifer Choi

About Me

Last year, while on maternity leave with my second baby, my oldest son, Logan, then 3, went from being very withdrawn in preschool to very aggressive and was about to be expelled! After getting him evaluated, I soon found myself quitting my job as a publicist and a few months later, I realized I had not one but two children with special needs with issues like hyperactivity, impulsivity, difficulty feeding, speech delays, some oppositional behavior and sensory processing disorder. I promised myself I would tackle this problem like the way I did my job. I would map out my plan and beat it down. I immersed myself in learning things like SPD, ADHD, and gluten/casein free diets. Last year, I checked myself in the emergency room with chest pains and difficulty breathing. It took awhile to figure it out but finally I was diagnosed: panic episodes. I wasn’t beating anything. It was beating me. Well, no more. I want to be happy. I want my kids to get better. I want my marriage to be strong. I know I can do this. I just have to be calm and take it one step at a time.

SAMPLE BLOG POST:

The original post can be found at http://canmombecalm.blogspot.com/2009/06/pr-backlash-of-supreme-court-victory.html

PR Backlash of the Supreme Court “Victory”

When I was in my twenties, I was very involved with my identity as a Korean American woman. It was a really big deal to me. I worked for a women’s organization that was run by Korean American women and for a couple of years, we set up conferences that discussed issues that affected us as Asians and as women.

In many ways, being an Asian American woman was a double blow. As Asians, we dealt with a plethora of stereotypes: complacent nerds, Harvard bound math geniuses, sleazy Chinatown gangsters, and perpetual foreigners despite being raised or even born in the U.S. (Do you know how many times I’ve been asked where I’m from and after I say “New York,” the person says, “No, where are you really from?”)

As Asian American women, our stereotype paints us as super-submissive rugs to step on and/or exotic sex kittens. We are marginalized by mainstream American society and we are also marginalized by our male Asian counterparts. There is a reason that you see so many Asian women married to non-Asian men. I know some men have fetishes for Asian women but there is another side to it. Some Asian women sometimes have a hard time dealing with the double standards of Asian men and so they naturally fall in love with men who are not unfair and selfish. (BTW, not all Asian American men are like this- many are really great to their wives.)

I bring this up today because I read something disturbing after doing the happy dance upon hearing the recent Supreme court ruling that says that parents can ask for tuition reimbursement for a private special education school even if they never had their child in a public special education setting. Jen Laviano, a special education lawyer wrote an insightful blog post lamenting how the evening news covered the story in a way that focused more on the costs implicated in the ruling. If you want to hear some dissenting lay opinions, read the comments on Sue Shellenbarger’s blog in the Wall Street Journal. Words like “retard,” “reform school,” “hood,” and “flipping burgers at McDonald’s” were used by commenters. It wasn’t pretty.

Any special needs parent knows that the cost spent now will mean a lot less spent later. It could also result in a great contribution to society. They also know that a child placed in an inappropriate educational setting will negatively impact the child’s classmates’ opportunity to learn as well. But here’s the problem: only the parents of special needs families know this. Possibly included in this circle are the teachers who teach these classes and parents of the special needs child’s classmates who are aware that the child is negatively impacting their own child’s education. If we are lucky, the teacher and the other parents will recognize the child has special needs. If we aren’t, the child and his parents will be painted with numerous assumptions which would be hurtful, not to mention counter-productive.
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