Routine Rules!!!  This has worked well for us especially when it comes to homework.  We have a significant amount of homework each night due to our son’s learning differences.  It has taken some time to get to this point but nightly homework now goes pretty smoothly.  We do the homework in the same place, in the same subject order at approximately the same time each night.  There is no longer the nightly battles to do the homework — it is amazing. So for those of you going through the nightly homework battle, take heart.  I believe that if you consistently pursue the homework battles and establish a routine of what, when and how — you too will achieve a point where homework is no longer a nightly battle.

I didn’t really believe that we would get to this point.  If I think back on all of the battles, the tears, and the exhaustion … thank goodness I have a stubborn streak a mile wide!!

We have also added another element to our homework routine.  Our school does offer an after-school study program.  It is a safe environment where our son can start to transition to independent homework under the close supervision of teachers.  We do this two times per week and both us and our son love it.  He gets most of his homework done at a reasonable hour and he is very proud of the fact that he is starting to transition to being an independent responsible student.  This is a concept strongly messaged and reinforced in our son’s school.  Each student is responsible for doing their work with their best effort possible.  This is expected at school and at home.  After nearly 2 years of this messaging, the responsibility concept is really starting to take root.

Now don’t get me wrong, we still have our setbacks, of course.  There are times when our son is frustrated and the fits and tears come back but they are fewer and fewer and they are much easier to handle at this point.

I know in the throes of homework battles that it is difficult to keep going.  Goodness knows that I have had my times of exhaustion when I absolutely could not fight another battle.  I had to take a break for a couple of weeks to rejuvenate and restore.  The last time this happened, I was able to hold on until the couple of weeks of break between the regular school year and school camp (where he does reading and writing throughout the summer).

If you are in the throes of battle, please keep fighting the good fight.  Establish a nightly routine of homework and try to incorporate the message that it is your child’s responsibility as a good student to do their homework and to do it to the best of their ability.  When you do hit speed bumps in this, work with your child’s teacher(s) to reinforce the responsibility message at school as well.

Good luck and until next time ….. (which will hopefully not be a couple of months like this past time ….) …. take care.

This post can be found at the Can Mom Be Calm Blog:

http://canmombecalm.blogspot.com/2009/10/kill-homework-monster.html

Before I was married, I didn’t believe I would be nothing other than a No-Shit Mom.

Okay, this is the second time I used an inappropriate word on my blog and so I apologize if anyone is offended but some words just say it all.

My kid was going to study, I told myself up until he was born. He would not be spoiled. And he would be able to speak at least three languages, one of them being Mandarin Chinese. (By the way, I am not Chinese American)

Even when you have typical children, I’m sure parents laugh at themselves when they compare their pre-baby goals to their actual goals after birth. Gosh, now my goals are not even anywhere close to him being multilingual! My goals are more like: Logan will stay in his seat for five minutes without being told to do so. Logan will make one non-school friend by the end of 2009. Of course, now I must share my personal goal which of course is: Jenn will no longer need anti-anxiety medication after 2010 and/or lose 20 pounds.

Anyway, this year Logan is in Big School and with that I am dragged into the world of Homework Hell. Ohmigosh, this No-Shit Mom is no match for the ADHD Homework Monster. The Homework Monster has daily ways to annoy you so much that in twenty minutes, you don’t care if your child wrote the letter “b” or “d.” Just get it done and go to sleep! Argh!

THE REST OF THE POST CAN BE READ AT: http://canmombecalm.blogspot.com/2009/10/kill-homework-monster.html

Homework can be a frustrating time for any parent. This is especially true if your child has ADHD or learning disabilities. Here I share some times I have gained from first hand experience that make homework time a lot easier and enjoyable. Good luck!!

For many of us parents, homework time can be a very frustrating part of the day. This is especially true for those of us who have children with ADHD or learning disabilities. How can you work with your child to make homework time easier? I call it the 3 R’s — Routine, Reward and Relax!!

First, if you can, meet with your child’s teachers with you child at the start of the school year. Present a united front and lay out expectations for the year and explicitly offer advice and options if the child is having trouble with the material (age appropriately). Set up a system to regularly communicate with the teachers. We use a communication notebook that goes back and forth to school every day.

2. Make homework a daily routine – at the same time and the same place. Make sure the environment is comfortable and appropriate and aids concentration and productivity. We use our kitchen table and make sure that we have all the materials on hand that we will need. We also make sure that no one else is in the room!

3. Set up a short term reward system. Points, poker chips, pretend money, stickers or something immediate for that day such as TV time or game time are all a good basis for a reward system. Children with ADHD are highly motivated by short term rewards which could be daily or weekly. Develop a system that works best for you and your child.

I have found with my son that the more visual the reward system, the better it works. Post it somewhere on your refrigerator or anywhere where it is in plain view. It reminds your child of what they are working towards.

4. Break down the homework into smaller tasks with breaks in between. Plan with your child what is to be done and when break are to be taken. Plan together what the activities will be during the short, timed breaks. Even within subjects, break down the homework into smaller, more manageable pieces. For instance, for math homework, only show one column of problems at a time.

5. When and if you child reaches a frustration point, take a break but make the break explicit. “You seem like you are getting frustrated. Let’s go take a break for 5 minutes and then come back to the work refreshed.

6. When homework is finished, have your child organize it and put it away in their back pack so it is ready to go for the next day.

7. This is a good time, too, to plan for the next day. Lunch, snacks and outfits are all next-day tasks that can be taken care of so that the morning routine is easier.

8. As your child gets older and more independent, transition from homework helper to homework coach. A homework coach helps with planning for homework and projects, discussing what needs to be done and offering guidance on breaking the tasks down, and offering encouragement.

So remember, it is Routine, Reward and Relax!! I hope your nights of homework go smoothly. Until next time …. take care.

Karen