www.takingcareofyourparents.com

This blog documents a family’s struggle with a diagnosis of inoperable stomach cancer for their father and their process of dealing with the health care system.

The father has since passed away and the blog is now documentating their story with their aging mother that they moved out to California from Philadelphia.

This is the first blog entry and it can be found at www.takingcareofyourparents.com/page/6.

The worst day of my life

Today I’m flying back to Philadelphia to see my father who was diagnosed with inoperable stomach cancer. The cancer has spread rapidly and it’s too late to do anything…we think. The problem is that we’re not getting any information from the doctor. Very vague, quick passing comments but no frank discussion about my father’s condition. It’s frustrating to see my father suffering and we don’t have the facts to know if we can help him.

Today is going to be the worst day of my life when I see my father at the hospital. My father wants to go home so badly that they’ve had to strap him into a chair. He’s frustrated and weak. We know he’s very sick but the doctor isn’t giving us enough information. Should we line up hospice now? Does he have a week, a month or a year left? We need to know what’s going on.

I know millions of people are going through these same frustrations every day because of our broken health care system. Very vague communication and no details. I’m going to use this blog to document the rest of my father’s life and share our process so maybe we can get our politicians to fix our broken health care system.

Losing a child is one of the most painful and difficult life events a parent can ever face. For most, that deep seated fear of losing a child never happens, but for others, it is a brutal reality that they are thrust into and must figure out how to survive, eventually moving on with their lives WITHOUT their beloved child.

We at Lipstick Wisdom (www.lipstickwisdom.com) produced a series of powerful and very personal videos on this topic to help women and families who face this most difficult challenge. Our hope is to offer comfort, support, and guidance to those suffering this deep loss. Three families poignantly share their stories of how their children died, how they pulled through their suffering, and eventually moved forward with their lives.

The mothers in the videos lost children who were different ages and to very different circumstances: a newborn daughter with an illness, a school age son who hung himself, and a college age son who was murdered. Yet, no matter what the child’s age or the circumstance, each mother and family had to move through similar emotions of shock, agonizing grief, anger, anguish and years of suffering to finally find their own personal way of coping and moving forward.

The expert in the fourth video, Dan Gottlieb, is a renowned author and expert on grief and healing. Suffering his own losses in life and counseling thousands of others, Dan speaks from experience and from the heart, as he offers practical advice on how to cope with the loss of a child.

As a mother of four children, myself, who has lost a full term baby shortly before birth, I have encountered my own journey of loss and know how dark that journey can be. At that time, kind words from friends and books offered the only solace, the internet and web videos didn’t exist. To have watched and listened to other mothers who had lived my pain and “knew” it firsthand, would have been immensely helpful. My hope is that our Lipstick Wisdom videos will touch you, whether you have lost a child or not, and will encourage you to share the powerful knowledge that these brave women share, with your friends and loved ones who suffer the loss of a child.

Eleanor’s son, Peter, inexplicably killed himself at age 10. Eleanor shares how she found the strength to go on with the help of family, friends, and a grief counselor who explained that a grieving mother will be able to go on if they view the day of the child’s death as the first day of their new life. Nothing will ever be the same. Eleanor, with the help of family and friends, established a grief center, Peter’s Place, to honor her son. This is a Lipstick Wisdom produced video. Run time of 4:54.

Please share this video with family and friends by pressing the “Share This” button.

Meghan Janicki was born at 32 weeks in an emergency delivery and had to immediately be put on life support. Meghan died a short while later. Meghan’s mom, Monica, discusses life after losing her infant and the joy and sorrow she feels now that she has gone on to give birth to a healthy baby girl. This is a Lipstick Wisdom produced video. Run time of 3:16.

Please share this video with family and friends by clicking on “Share This”.

If you knew you only had moments of life left to live…what would you choose as your last words?… This video shares Matthew’s last words to his dad.

Hannah died in her sleep one night. She was 1 1/2 years old. Her mother – my sister – misses her deeply. She feels like she is disappearing…

Dr. Dan Gottlieb is a renowned psychologist and three time author of books on grief and healing. He also hosts a NPR show, “Voices in the Family.” Dr. Gottlieb offers his insights on how best to cope and heal with the loss of a child. This is a Lipstick Wisdom produced video. Run Time of 3:16.

Please share this video with family and friends by clicking on “Share This”.

A Photographer Helps Families Heal

The loss of a child is tragic, but one company is helping moms and dads remember their precious little one with beautiful photos. NBC’s Kerry Sanders reports.

This VideoJug expert video explores the following questions:

1. What are common emotions after losing a child?
2. How can I heal my marriage after losing a child?
3. How do I talk to my spouse about the death of our child?
4. How do I explain the death of our child to our other children?
5. How do we get through the holidays without our child?
6. Are there ways to memorialize our child at home?
7. Will I ever get over the death of my child?
8. What support is available to parents who have lost a child?

David Kessler is Director of Palliative Care, Citrus Valley Health Partners and Hospice.

David Kessler is an accomplished journalist, international lecturer and author who has dedicated his life to helping people understand the complex emotions attached to death, dying, grief and loss. His work has been discussed in the Los Angeles Times, New York Times, Business Week and Life Magazine and has been featured on CNN, NBC, MSNBC, PBS. He has written for the “Boston Globe,” “ LA Times” and “The San Francisco Chronicle.”

Bereavement: Losing A Child

Grief is a process with no time limit or prescription that people must go through after the death of a loved one. Discover how to deal with grief after death with tips from a hospice community development director in this free video on dealing with death.