The end of the school year is approaching and I don’t know who is more excited about the two week break between school and summer camp, my son or I.  We have not had a break from homework since August 2008.  A key component to overcoming his learning challenges is not only to learn specific strategies for reading, writing and math but repetition, repetition, and more repetition.

He has made tremendous progress this year!  I am so proud of him and his incredible hard work.  We do about 1.5 hours of homework 5 nights a week.  For second grade, this is a lot of work.  If anything, our son is going to have an incredible work ethic.  The words he can now read include anticipation, commissioned, audience and Constantinople!!  Wow – he has done so well.

Recently, the summer reading list came out in our school’s weekly newsletter.  I contacted our son’s teacher in order to get guidance on his independent reading level for the summer.  Well let’s just say it is not where I expected it to be.  Hence “the punch in the gut” in the title of this blog post.  I felt so deflated.  I just wanted to sit down and have a really good cry.

I reached out to his teacher and asked about his independent reading level and now I understand.  Learning challenges like everything else in life is about layers.  This year was a year of building the foundation.  He has strategies for decoding words he doesn’t know.  He has strategies for comprehending the material he is reading.  He has strategies for writing and answering questions.  He has strategies for paying attention and remaining engaged in the classroom.  All of this HAS resulted in tremendous progress.

The next layer that has to be attacked, however, is comprehension.  He is working so hard to decode and read and do, that his brain processing does not really have the room for full comprehension.  As we practice his strategies more, then the strategies themselves will become second nature so that he can grow into comprehending the material he is working with.

So once again I have to remind myself that “my framework” is not what is relevant.  Learning challenges, like everything else in life, is a journey that has to be broken down into manageable pieces.

He is working hard, he is making progress and he likes school.  It is all good.  So I was able to give myself a swift kick in the a—and remind myself of how proud I am of him.  I also decided that I am going to get ice cream for every night of those two weeks where we have a break!!

So until next time …. Take care.

I certainly hope that my posts help each of you with ideas and suggestions for approaching your day to day life.  I know that often just the process of writing the blog post helps me to think through the day to day situations that we face as a family. 

In a previous post I wrote about ADHD and anger.  I explored how anger management is a challenge for those with ADHD because, like behavior regulation challenges – a hallmark of ADHD, anger management is a regulation of the emotions.  Because of the impaired nature of the Executive Functioning in those with ADHD, emotions are often more intense and more challenging to regulate.  As a result, I look at how our son handles frustration and anger as not a discipline issue but an opportunity to teach him how to handle frustration and anger constructively.

Hand in hand with the anger and frustration is often hitting.  To tell the truth, I have had concerns about our son’s hitting and have tried to teach him to use his words instead of his hands/body in expressing his anger and frustration.  His hitting kind of remained a fuzzy situation that has bothered me in the back of my head but it is not something I had really spent a great deal of time focusing on.  As I prepared to write this post, I thought through the reason for that.

First of all, we do not have any troubles with him hitting other kids. Well, except for his sister, which I really attribute to the typical sibling interaction.  I fondly remember my brother and I beating the c—p out of each other through high school!!  Secondly, we have no discipline challenges with him at school whatsoever.  So what I realize bothers me is that he does lash out at his father and myself from time to time.

So I have done some research on the topic and have discovered that aggressive behavior is common in young children.  Until a child reaches something like the age of six or so, he is not developmentally mature enough to curb his or her impulse to hit.  Our son is older than six but his ability to handle frustration maturely is still in development and the fact that he largely directs it at his father and I is okay for me for now. 

Why do I think it is okay, for now?  I think that developmentally he is not able to fully control his emotions yet. In addition, we are a safe place for him to direct his anger and frustration – he is working so hard that I think he needs a safe place to express his frustrations.  Finally, he often is least able to handle his frustration or anger when he is tired or when he has spent too much time in front of the tv or video games.   It is up to my husband and I to make sure that he is getting enough sleep and exercise and that we help guide him when he is in overtired situations.  I often verbalize that you are angry and frustrated because you are tired and dad and I need to make sure that you get enough sleep tonight.

What have we done to help him address those situations when he wants to hit?

•  Figure out another outlet for his anger.  We have chosen an “anger” pillow that he can take out his frustrations on.

•  Teaching him words to associate with a situation.  We literally practice the phrases, “you are making me angry”, “I am really frustrated right now” or “I need the anger pillow.”  I am also careful to make sure that I use the phrases myself – “I am really frustrated because I can follow your crumb trail from the kitchen to the living room.

• Recognizing his feelings and verbalizing them.  “I know that you are upset because I am not allowing you to play your DS.  In order for you to be healthy, you need to play and get fresh air. 

• Reinforce verbally that hitting is wrong.  It is as simple as saying over and over again, “you are not allowed to hit.”  I also have our son look at the person that was hit and apologize sincerely. 

• Reinforce when you see frustration and anger handled appropriately.  “I am so proud of you for using the anger pillow instead of hitting me.”  I have, with fits and starts in the past, tried to do reward charts but I have found that our son reacts most positively when rewarded immediately.  So I often praise immediately, offer a treat or say let’s do this together as a reward for your great behavior.

So after writing this blog post, I have found that I am less concerned about his hitting than I used to be at the back of my mind and I have resolved with renewed vigor to keep doing the steps outlined above.

Let me know your thoughts and what works for you.

Until next time …… take care.

BED TIME. Does reading these two words give you nightmares as a parent of a child with ADHD? Apparently it is VERY common for children with ADHD (and adults with ADHD too) to resist bed time. It is a nightly challenge for us in our household.
When thinking about ADHD and sleep, it might be helpful to think what I call the 4 stages of sleep:

• Bed time
• Falling asleep
• Staying asleep
• Waking up

Bed time for children with ADHD is challenging because, well, they often just don’t want to stop. However, once in bed, many children and adults with ADHD have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep and then, once asleep, waking up. According to research, prior to puberty 10-15% of children with ADHD have trouble getting to sleep. This is 2x the rate found in children and adolescents who do not have ADHD. The number of individuals with ADHD experiencing trouble getting to sleep dramatically increases with age (oh joy – another thing to look forward to!):

• 50% of children with ADHD have difficulty falling asleep almost every night by age 12 ½
• By age 30, more than 70% of adults with ADHD report that they spend more than 1 hour trying to fall asleep at night

Yikes!! [These figures were found in the February/March 2004 issue of Additude in an article written by William Dobson M.D. entitled, “ADHD Sleep Advice – End Bedtime Battles”.]

Fortunately for us, our son does not have trouble sleeping once we actually get him settled down into bed. It is bed time, itself, that is our challenge right now. So what helps us with bed time?

• Routine, routine, routine – routine is our best friend. We are probably our own worst enemy because on the weekends, we do not stick to the routine but a routine associated with bed time and a routine on the time itself have helped tremendously.
• One on one time with parents – our son still loves to cuddle with mom and dad. Nothing calms him down faster than when we lay down with him and cuddle. We chat quietly about our day and have a few quiet laughs, hugs and kisses. I don’t know if it is the sense of security, the routine or the cuddling that calms him down but it works for us.

Other suggestions for bed time settling down and falling asleep include:

• Turning off the TV and shutting down video games about an hour before bed time. TV and video stimulate all childrens’ nervous systems – imagine what it does to the nervous system of a child with ADHD.
• Avoiding caffeine before bed time. Not only is caffeine a stimulant but it is also a diuretic. Nothing worse than trying to sleep when you really need to pee!
• Having milk and ice cream. Dairy foods contain an amino acid that converts the active ingredients in milk to melatonin and serotonin. Both melatonin and serotonin help the body fall asleep.
• Practicing deep breathing. Practice releasing the tensions, energy and worries from the day and preparing for sleep through deep breathing.
• Taking Melatonin.
• Taking a bedtime medication prescribed by your doctor.
• Using sensory products such as weighted blankets or special tents that give a sense of security.
• Playing nature sound CDs, meditation CDs, white noise or calming music.
• Drinking “Organic Nighty Night” tea (we have actually used this) or other types of soothing teas.
• De-cluttering the child’s room to limit distractions.
• Taking a warm bathes or shower.
• Using lavender in the child’s room to calm.
• Making sure the child has plenty of exercise throughout the day.
• Behavior therapy.

Hopefully within this list you will find some ideas to help you and your child to find a bed time routine which results in a smooth transition from an awake state to an asleep state! (Is there such a thing as a smooth transition with a child with ADHD?)

Trouble with staying asleep is a whole other issue. I would examine food and exercise habits but also consult a doctor to make sure other conditions like sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome are not impeding a good night’s rest.

I tend to believe that having trouble waking up is probably correlated to the earlier phases of sleep like having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. We definitely have trouble waking our son up some mornings but it is usually when he is tired. He needs more sleep towards the end of the week versus the beginning of the week because he works so hard at school and at home with homework. We give him a hot shower every morning and wrap him in warm towels when he gets out of the shower (wouldn’t it be nice if we all could have warm towels in the morning) and that helps him in waking up!

In the academic world, the correlation between ADHD and sleep disorders is one which needs to be further explored. What is known is that sleep problems are rampant in people who have ADHD. However, the big unanswered question is whether sleep problems are secondary to having ADHD or whether sleep disorders are another cause of ADHD. Right now, there is no answer. What is known is that the proper amount of sleep is important for anyone. Children with ADHD, however, need their sleep even more because the lack of sleep can make a life that is challenging even more so.

I hope this article is helpful in giving you some ideas to try in establishing a way to help your child transition more peacefully from being awake to being asleep.

As always, take care …. Until next time.
Karen

This post can be found at: http://jozikids.co.za/blog/2009/11/27/adhd-and-the-holidays/

ADHD and the holidays

By Angel Swemmer, a  mom to a teenage-almost-adult ADHDer and what I write is purely my opinion on things I feel strongly about, based on my experience as an ADHDer parent. Author of the blog Angelsmind

Are you dreading the holidays?

Does the thought of spending time with friends and family scare the bejeebers out of you?

Well, if your ADHDer is anything like mine, then he (or she) is a handful at the best of times and I don’t blame you.

Like me, you probably also have- or have had- a dilemma with friends and family battling to deal with your ADHDer, or struggling to understand that ADHD is a disability.  And if you medicate your ADHDer then you’ve probably also had flak for doing so. Maybe your parents or family members “…don’t believe in ADHD…” and don’t agree with how you are treating the condition. Perhaps you even have close family and friends whom you haven’t even told about your child’s ADHD- for whatever reason…

The holidays make all this a lot more difficult than usual.

As it is, a simple Sunday lunch with the family can be a nightmare for ADHDers and their parents. In the holidays- even if you do not actually go away- you will most likely be spending a lot of time with close friends and family over the silly-season, so you can multiply the nightmare comparison by a factor of 10, at least.

You’d think an ADHDer would thrive in this season of noise and colour and excitement, but what it really does is make them needier when it comes to their demand for immediate gratification- and it makes them come across as even more hyper and disruptive than usual. ADHDers battle socially. They don’t read social cues and they cannot read body language. The bright lights, colours, crowds and the pressure to meet holiday deadlines and interact socially, quickly sends an ADHDer’s brain into overload. And this is when they become difficult to handle even for people who love and understand him.

One of the first things that fall by the wayside when Christmas holidays start is the daily routine. You sleep late, eat later, eat “junk”, shop, gallivant, visit friends and family, and in some families you no longer medicate* your ADHDer.

Read the rest of the article here: http://jozikids.co.za/blog/2009/11/27/adhd-and-the-holidays/

According to discussions I have had with many doctors and therapists, no one should have to suffer through terrible side effects of ADHD medication. There are many medications to choose from and each one reacts differently to an individual’s body chemistry.

Putting your child on medication for ADHD or ADD is not an easy decision or one that should take lightly. I, however, have seen firsthand the power of what the medication can do for a child. It can have absolutely amazing results. I said on a recent post, “It’s almost like his brain is a lock and medicine is the key.” Unfortunately, however, medication is not effective for everyone. Some experts say that medication is not effective for some 20-30% of the ADHD population.

My family had many discussions with doctors and therapists before we decided to put our son on medication. Two critical pieces of advice that we were told over and over again are advice that I feel everyone considering medication for their child should know. First, each child responds individually to each medication and that it will probably take time and experimentation to find the right medication for your child. Secondly, it is absolutely not necessary to tolerate side effects which last for more than a few days.

There are many choices of ADHD medication both stimulant and non-stimulant based. If a child is having side effects from the medication which continue for more than a few days, consult your doctor and try another medication. Do not tolerate side effects – this is what we were told by both our doctor and the many therapists we spoke with which was about ten therapists – all extremely experienced with ADHD.
Read the rest of this entry »

This blog post can be found at “A Mom’s View of ADHD” http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/04/get-facts-or-shut-up.html.

 
I keep reading over and over articles, blog posts, etc. claiming that teaching ADHD kids consequences will “cure” their ADHD. Anyone who spreads this rubbish can’t possibly have ADHD, know someone with ADHD, or be a medical professional of any sort. They are just yet another conspiracy-theorist anxious to fuel the flames. They do get me in a tizzy but not the one they were hoping for. I get downright angry. If they were educated on the subject whereof they take great liberty to speak, they would know this belief is pure trash.

As a parent of an ADHD child, we hear it all: behavior problems are just bad parenting; if you punish them they will comply; every child can sit still and focus if they try hard enough; ADHD medications/stimulants just drug a child into submission; blah…blah…blah.

We knew there was something going on with Luke because

* we know we are good parents,
* we punished taking away privileges until he literally had no toys and had to earn them back a few at a time and he still couldn’t follow directions (or earn his toys back)
* he wanted desperately to follow directions and please his elders and was very sad a lot of the time because he couldn’t no matter how hard he tried
* he is the sweetest, most kind-hearted little boy around but he was constantly in trouble.

Now, I know perfectly well that my son’s ADHD is very real and not something that he can control on his own (at least not at 6 years old — I certainly hope he will learn to compensate and cope when he is older). He can’t just tell himself to calm down and sit still and pay attention and have it be so. For that is the definition of ADHD! An ADHD individual cannot control their impulses — something different is happening in their brain.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS POST, PLEASE GO TO http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/04/get-facts-or-shut-up.html.

This blog post can be found at “A Mom’s View of ADHD” http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/05/ugh-more-meds.html

 
Last week, Luke had his second checkup with the Behavioral & Developmental M.D. at the Olson Huff Center since being diagnosed with ADHD there Nov. 2008. At the first checkup in March, his Concerta dosage was increased and the doctor was concerned because he had lost 4 pounds. I was, of course, nervous about going in again. I knew if he had lost any more weight, the doctor would change his medication. I agree that he has to grow. But I was also nervous as to the outcome because both his teacher and I had begun to realize the Concerta was loosing effectiveness again (that’s how he got the increased dose the last time). I just don’t approach the unknown very willingly.

So he was weighed and measured and his blood pressure was taken. Then we waited for our turn with his doctor. I saw what his weight and height were at the time measured, but I didn’t remember what they were in March so I was on the edge of my seat when we finally got in with the doctor. Fortunately, he looked at his weight first. It was exactly the same as two months ago, down to the tenth of a pound: 47.7 pounds (he had been 52 pounds when diagnosed in Nov.). He actually grew 1.5 inches too. Yeah, he was growing!

When I mentioned that the Concerta was beginning to loose effectiveness again, I got the dreaded “this may be as good as it gets” spiel. Frankly, I am fine with his current behavior. It can be frustrating at times, but we have dealt with it for a few years and can deal with it again. What is bothersome is how much trouble and learning prevention ADHD causes at school. When his meds are working he does so great and I really want that greatness for him.

So Dr. S told me about Tenex. Tenex is a hypertension medication that is often prescribed to ADHD individuals when stimulants aren’t tolerated or don’t work well. It is not yet FDA-approved for children and for treating ADHD but that is going to happen later this year. It affects a certain chemical in the brain causing a “slow-down.” I didn’t like the idea of giving him two medications every day and I didn’t like the idea of giving him a medication for high blood pressure when his blood pressure is a-okay. But Dr. S explained that it helps with hyperactivity and impulsivity, the two ADHD symptoms that Luke was again struggling with. He said we could try it for a few days to 1) see if he could take it without severe drowsiness or other side effects and 2) see if it would help with the re-emerging symptoms. If so, great. We’ll continue to take it. If not, he’ll tell me how to wean him off of it (you cannot stop this medicine abruptly).

TO READ THE REST OF THIS BLOG POST, PLEASE GO TO http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/05/ugh-more-meds.html.

The post can be found at “A Mom’s View of ADHD” http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/05/is-high-metabolism-really-blessing.html.

I have wished for a higher metabolism my entire adult life. Once my lifestyle “settled down,” the fat also settled…on my stomach, hips, thighs… I have watched my husband eat like a horse (his serving size for Twinkies is 2-3 at a time, for example) over the last 12 years and not gain a pound. He is still under weight. I however, can think about chocolate (obsess really, but that’s another conversation) and gain weight. I am 40 pounds heavier than I was at age 21. A good 30 pounds overweight.

Now I am starting to wonder if a high metabolism is really such a blessing though. I mean, I am sure it would be great for me, but it is not beneficial to the men in my life, my hubby and son. The first time I heard that your body can metabolize your medications was last year, a couple months after my husband began getting remicaid infusions for his ankylosing spondilitis. The first couple months were great. The pain was down significantly over his previous medication, which had just stopped working after several months. But after 2-3 months on the new medication, it began loosing effectiveness as well. His rheumatologist immediately asked him about his eating habits. My husband, god love him, survives on a Coke diet (at least 6 cans) up until dinner. He eats nothing during the day and then eats dinner and doesn’t stop eating until midnight or later. So, the obvious question is, what will his body burn to make energy when it runs out of calories from the Coke? Ah, it will burn his medication. Ding, ding! That’s a problem. Getting him to eat is a problem too. For a few weeks after this revelation, he ate pre-packaged peanut butter crackers and cliff bars, several a day. But soon these two foods got tiresome and he fell back into his pattern of being too busy at work and on job sites far from food and not eating again. He had actually put on about 15-20 pounds during his high-calorie phase but had lost it all again by the time he went back for his last doctor visit six months later.

Mia’s wonderful comment on my last post, mentioning metabolism, triggered a revelation. If my husband’s body is burning his medication when he doesn’t eat or eat enough, can’t Luke’s little body be doing the same thing to his Concerta?

 
TO READ THE REST OF THIS POST, PLEASE GO TO http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/05/is-high-metabolism-really-blessing.html

The blog post can be found at “A Mom’s View of ADHD” http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/07/guilt-overload.html.

 
I am really feeling bad about giving my son medications for his ADHD this week. In months past, I have reminded myself that we give him medications so he can be successful and feel good about himself. We chose medication for HIM, not one bit for us. That reminder usually makes me feel better.

But this week I am overwhelmed by guilt and self-doubt. I wonder if we are just medicating him so he’ll fit in. So he’ll fit into a world he isn’t neurologically capable of fitting into without chemical intervention. This cannot be the reason. I celebrate individuality. But, helping him fit into the “ordinary”‘ world is what creates confidence, peace and joy for him that he lacked beforehand.

I remember his demeanor before he was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated in Nov 2008. He was sad and defeated, probably near a clinical depression at 5 years of age. It brings tears to my eyes to think of all the times he tried so hard to please his teachers, parents, and elders and, try as he might, he just couldn’t. I don’t want to go back there. That feels like parenting failure.

 
TO READ THE REST OF THIS BLOG POST, PLEASE GO TO http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/07/guilt-overload.html

This blog post is from ADHDMomma and can be found at
http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/10/is-adhd-medicine-key.html

Luke has been taking Vyvanse for 3 straight days now. He has tried a host of other medications, most recently Concerta. The Concerta was fantastic, a dramatic change, but lost effectiveness after a month or so.

Of course, I have mile-high hopes for the new medicine, for the Vyvanse. I want it to be a dramatic positive change worthy of giving him a serious medication daily. I am on the edge of my seat, fingers and toes crossed, holding my breath. While we have battled some with being really sleepy, that seems to be subsiding and we are seeing great results. He brought home a story he wrote in school yesterday (pictured below). I smiled so much my cheeks literally hurt. I gushed and gushed until his sister was so tired of hearing about it she left the room. It was far beyond any expectations I had for him. It was a full page of writing. I could read it. It made sense. He even used quotation marks around dialogue and had dialogue in his story to begin with. And he drew a full picture to go with it with lots of color and detail. It may not be amazing for a 2nd grader. In fact, I know it isn’t. But for my 2nd grader, my ADHD boy who struggles so much with handwriting and even the desire to write because of it, it is beyond amazing.

 
TO READ THE REST OF THIS BLOG POST ON ADHD MEDICATION, PLEASE GO TO http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2009/10/is-adhd-medicine-key.html