The recent diagnosis of ADD (ADHD inattentive) for our son has resulted in a major framework shift or me. Learning that he has a lifelong disability that will make life more difficult than it already is causes waves of sadness to come over me. I realize that in order to move on from these feelings, I need to face them and embrace them and then let them go.
Learning Issues, ADD and Grief
So I call my little peanut, my little onion as well because we just keep peeling back the layers to understand more. As you know, we recently got a diagnosis of ADHD (inattentive) for our son. This, I recently realized, has been a dramatic framework shift for me. Let me explain.
Because he is young, we have been working on and with his learning issues and trying to figure out which issues are based on learning differences and which are based on immaturity. The learning needs school that he has been attending is a transition school. This means that they work with the child to discover their strengths and to establish methodologies and frameworks that work to help the child address their learning weaknesses. They also teach the child to advocate for themselves and their learning needs. When the child has a strong learning toolset and the understanding and mindset to be their own learning advocate, the goal is to transition them back to a mainstream school. Read the rest of this entry »
Truth about me I’ve never revealed before
by Alexis Martin Neely
If you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know my life is pretty amazing. I live in my (for now) dream home by the ocean. I work from home running a million dollar plus company that is growing like gangbusters.
I’ve got a hot boyfriend who loves me and talking about business and growing spiritually and loves my kids to boot. I get to be on TV, write books, take classes at Agape and make a difference in the world.
And yet despite all the amazingness, I have periods (not necessarily short periods either) of some real unhappiness. Painful unhappiness.
In this video, I share that the hardest thing to manage with my son’s learning issues is my own anxiety and stress. I share a conversation that I had with another mom regarding our mutual challenges and it felt GREAT to talk to someone who was going through the same thing. I want to share with you that I understand what you are going through and that it is sooo important to take care of yourself!!
Go to www.lipstickwisdom.com to find information and tips for women on taking care of ourselves and information on why we tend to NOT take care of ourselves.
Talk with you soon!!
Yes, My Friend, I Know What You are Going Through
One of the hardest things to manage in my life right now is me. My kids are lucky in that they have a Type-A hard charging mom. My kids are unlucky in that they have a Type-A hard charging mom.
My son is lucky in that I started to recognize signs of his trouble, from what people tell me, early and as a result we started to get him help early. He is in first grade now and the expectations of his learning have increased, as they should, with his age. Homework is now a one to two hour nightly endeavor that usually involves a great deal of activity, cajoling, negotiating and, at times, distress. My son is unlucky in that I have not figured out how to handle my own anxiety and stress with his learning issues.
It’s like everything else. There are good days and there are bad days. He has his good and bad days. I have my good and bad days. It requires a great deal of energy to think creatively when working on concepts with him, to incorporate the kinetic learning into his homework (my son learns best when physical activity is combined with his learning) and to constantly cajole, negotiate, sooth and encourage.
There are some days when I see his work that I think, ok, he is making progress — Hooray. There are other days when I just watch him work so so so hard and not understand and I just want to cry. Often I am stressed out, exhausted and not sure what I can best do to help him.
It is exhausting. And I worry constantly.
The other night I was at my daughter’s school for a school event. I ended up talking with a friend of mine who just this year moved her child out of the public school and sent them to a private school for children with learning issues. We were talking about the homework, and the worry, the stress, and the exhaustion. We were talking about how we worried that we were not spending as much time with out other children because of the situation. And you know what – it felt great to talk with someone else who COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD. Who knew EXACTLY what was going on with me because she was going through the same experience. I have not spoken with her since our conversation but from out conversation, I felt stronger, more determined and more energized.
I also made a resolution that to take better care of my family – I need to take better care of myself. So starting with 5 to 15 minutes a day, I am going to sit quietly, ideally outside, and focus on feeling gratitude and focus on reenergizing myself in order to do what I need to do. I am also going to try (does this sounds like a New Years resolution?) to get to the gym more.
So I sit here in front of you today to tell you — I know what you are going through. I know that it is exhausting and stressful. I understand. But know that you are doing a great job and what you are doing is important. Keep going. Take care of your child – help them but please please please also remember to take care of yourself.
I have just added a Self Care section to the Lipstick Wisdom website. Check it out and find some helpful tips to find those few moments a day to solely focus on you. You have to take care of yourself in order to best take care of your family.
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