The recent diagnosis of ADD (ADHD inattentive) for our son has resulted in a major framework shift or me. Learning that he has a lifelong disability that will make life more difficult than it already is causes waves of sadness to come over me. I realize that in order to move on from these feelings, I need to face them and embrace them and then let them go.

 

 
Learning Issues, ADD and Grief

So I call my little peanut, my little onion as well because we just keep peeling back the layers to understand more. As you know, we recently got a diagnosis of ADHD (inattentive) for our son. This, I recently realized, has been a dramatic framework shift for me. Let me explain.

Because he is young, we have been working on and with his learning issues and trying to figure out which issues are based on learning differences and which are based on immaturity. The learning needs school that he has been attending is a transition school. This means that they work with the child to discover their strengths and to establish methodologies and frameworks that work to help the child address their learning weaknesses. They also teach the child to advocate for themselves and their learning needs. When the child has a strong learning toolset and the understanding and mindset to be their own learning advocate, the goal is to transition them back to a mainstream school.
Read the rest of this entry »

FROM http://www.lifechanginggrowth.com/templates/System/details.asp?id=35198&PID=560272

Too Busy? Take Time for Yourself.

By Jama Thurman, Licensed Professional Counselor
Life Changing Counseling
www.lifechanginggrowth.com

Our lives are busy. We are constantly running here and there, taking care of work, kids, parents, friends, pets, neighbors, etc. But often we forget to take care of ourselves. When that happens we can become stressed or depressed. Learning self-care techniques can help us manage stress and improve our moods. We are all familiar with the our instructions every time we fly in an airplane – “put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others.” This is helpful advice that should be applied in all areas of our lives. We need to take care or ourselves first in order to be able to help others.

“But I don’t want to be selfish – isn’t taking care of myself selfish?” Taking care of ourselves is actually healthy. We need to remember to pay attention to all areas of our lives – our physical health, mental health, spiritual health, financial health, intellectual health, etc. Our bodies, minds, and souls need to be nourished and protected so that we can operate at optimum capacity to serve and help others.

“I’m too busy to take care of myself – I can’t abandon my responsibilities. How will everything get done?” We all have 24 hours in our days, but there will always be more to do. If we practice self-care we will be more relaxed, able to concentrate, and more efficient, so we will actually be able to accomplish more, not less. Self-care increases our capacity to give and serve.

How do we take care of ourselves?

1. Develop healthy eating habits.

2. Get consistent sleep.

3. Commit to regular exercise.

4. Relax. Set aside 15-30 minutes every day for relaxation. Take a bath, pray, take a nap, draw a picture, write in a journal, read a book, talk to a friend, pet your cat or dog.

5. Breathe deeply.

6. Listen to music.

7. De-clutter your house and your life. Take 15 minutes a day to pick up a room, sort through some papers, or make a goal/priority list.

8. Laugh as much as possible. Watch a funny movie or television show. Read the comics or a joke book. Listen to a friend tell funny stories. Laughter is good medicine.

What are the benefits of taking care of ourselves? We will be more relaxed, confident, stronger, and more content. We will feel less stressed, have improved concentration, and a greater sense of peace and direction. We will have more energy, and will be able to accomplish more with less. We will also be a great example to others.

For more ideas or assistance with self-care and stress management, please call me at 703-330-6088 or email me.

Jama Thurman, Licensed Professional Counselor
Helping teens and adults who feel stressed and depressed find peace and purpose

The entire article can be read at http://womenshealth.suite101.com/article.cfm/self_care_for_women

Self Care for Women
Taking Care of Yourself 101
© Angela Ann Holloway

Apr 18, 2008

Self Care for Women is imperative as they constantly put everyone else first, and suffer because they come last. Here is an outline of what IS and IS NOT self care.

Whether you are single or married, a career women or at home, I can guarantee with a fair amount of certainty, that you spend more time taking care of others than you do taking care of your self. As women, we are great at putting everyone else first, sometimes even becoming resentful that our own needs have become last. For most of us however, if we do not take care of ourselves, no one else will.

That being said, the idea of self-care is foreign to most women, and frequently misunderstood or misinterpreted. So, what is self care?

Self Care IS:

Eating right, getting proper nutrition, and drinking enough water. Just a 2% dip in body hydration can cause fatigue, headaches, and depression, as well as a 20% loss in energy!
Enjoying some form of physical activity every day. A morning (or evening) walk is all it takes.
Monitoring one’s emotional bank account, ensuring that one is making ample emotional deposits to cover the daily withdrawals of life, so that one does not become emotionally “overdrawn.”
Knowing one’s limits; it is important to know how much one is able to effectively do in a day or a week without becoming over exhausted, over emotional, or overwhelmed.

Read the rest of the article at http://womenshealth.suite101.com/article.cfm/self_care_for_women

FROM http://womantribune.com/women-2

Why Women Let Themselves Go
December 31, 2008 by Christine

Women aren’t on their own list of priorities.

“After taking care of everyone else, they are always putting themselves last on the list, and often have very little left to give. There are many women who aren’t living—they just exist. This is a form of self-abuse. Women often wear their exhaustion as a badge of honor. The more you do for your loved ones, the more acceptable it becomes to “let yourself go.” Women believe its okay to sacrifice themselves for their own families. This is a lie that we allow ourselves to buy into, but we need to wake up! The challenge for women is that they must re-language what it means to be a wife and mother. Being a good wife and mother means that if you don’t take care of yourself, in the long run you are ultimately harming all the other people you love in your life. You won’t be the only one who takes the hit.

Fear of Competition
Media and society frequently tell women we need to portray ourselves as “together” and be able to perform any task thrown our way. But when women look at the reality of how overwhelmed they feel in their own lives, they begin to feel like they are not good or worthy enough. Women often see other women who look like they are “doing it all”—and then when they compare themselves, they become overwhelmed and feel inadequate. It’s not easy to face feelings of inadequacy so women usually end up avoiding them. But women need to know you can’t show up in your own life if you are on the run. They tell themselves they are too tired and burdened to compete with others so they don’t believe they have the power to change anything. Then they “drop out” of the game—they give up and let themselves go.

Unresolved anger contributes to letting go

Sometimes women “drop out” because they don’t know how to send a verbal message that says, “Get off my back.” They have unresolved feelings of anger or rage toward someone or about something so they “let themselves go” to express that. When women give up on themselves, they are often sending messages of anger and it could be because of something traumatic that happened in the past or because of unhappiness in a current relationship…like with a parent, husband, or child.

We let fear take over.

Women become paralyzed in their lives and let themselves go because of an underlying fear. A fear of rejection, a fear to accept how they really feel about themselves, a fear of facing the idea that they aren’t enough, a fear of accepting how others may feel about them. They let the fear take over and let other people determine their own self worth. The internal barometer that gauges guides and directs your life as an empowered woman—that makes you know you are enough and okay—is broken and needs to be fixed”.

Rediscover Who You Are

The “Who Am I?” Journal
Who am I? It’s a lifelong question, and getting beyond appearances and labels is the crucial first step in launching your comeback. Be Still! Be Present! The primary thing in your life is the now…the present… there is never anything else”.

No matter who you are, where you live, how rich you are or what your age is, life happens to all of us. However, we are all different and we need to find our own way.

So, I ask you this; What does a valuable life mean to you?

Live passionately… what else have you got to do?

- – - – - – - – - -

Christine is a certified life coach for women. She is the founder of Girltime Coaching and also writes her blog, Live Passionately.

FROM http://womantribune.com/women-2

http://alexismartinneely.com/2009/04/28/truth_about_me/comment-page-1/#comment-2941

Truth about me I’ve never revealed before
by Alexis Martin Neely

If you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know my life is pretty amazing. I live in my (for now) dream home by the ocean. I work from home running a million dollar plus company that is growing like gangbusters.

I’ve got a hot boyfriend who loves me and talking about business and growing spiritually and loves my kids to boot. I get to be on TV, write books, take classes at Agape and make a difference in the world.

And yet despite all the amazingness, I have periods (not necessarily short periods either) of some real unhappiness. Painful unhappiness.

To read the rest of this blog go to:
http://alexismartinneely.com/2009/04/28/truth_about_me/comment-page-1/#comment-2941

Mary Lou Quinlan, the author of TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR, explores with James Michael Tyler, why women work so hard and don’t give themselves a break and she encourages them to take one.

FROM http://b.www.mixx.com/jVKx?fpr=AwsOas&campid=SSN&ssns=41&

How Taking Time for Yourself Increases Productivity
Published by Kathryn Vercilloon April 16, 2009

People who have a drive to be productive often end up sabotaging themselves in their efforts to achieve this very goal. That is because most people believe that being productive means working as much as possible all of the time. Although part of productivity is being prolific in whatever you do, part of it is also being at the top of your game. You can’t be totally on the ball if you’re exhausted or overworked. That’s why those people who are the most productive in their lives and in their work are the people who have learned the difficult task of balancing a busy working life with the ability to take time for themselves on a regular basis.

Taking time for yourself increases your productivity in three major ways. First of all, it gives you the physical rest that you need to be able to maintain productivity over time. Secondly, it allows you to return to work with fresh eyes which you gives you a more creative approach to your work and tends to result in higher productivity over all. And finally, taking time for yourself allows you to stay in touch with who you are which makes it so that you never forget why it is that you’re trying to be so productive in the first place.

People need rest. This means more than just the fact that people need to take the time to sleep each night. People need simple downtime when they aren’t working or otherwise being productive. They physically need time to just chill out and to allow their bodies and minds to be still. Some people do this in front of the TV and others do it at a yoga class. Some people need more rest than others. Whatever your method may be your ability to take this downtime for yourself will result in higher productivity. If you fail to take this time, what you’ll find is that you burn out instead of staying productive.

Even if you do manage to just go, go, go for a long period of time without burning out, you will find that your work gets stale if you don’t take time for yourself. In order to remain truly productive, you have to be able to think creatively. People can’t do this if they’re merely working on the same thing day in and day out. It’s important to take time to pursue your other interests. Whether you want to explore deep sea diving or browse through an art museum or read about ancient religions, you should take the time to pursue those interests. Many people who want to be productive will fail to engage in these things that they consider to be “just hobbies” and their work will suffer creatively as a result.

Finally, you have to realize that the ability to be productive comes from really knowing what your goals are and being able to keep those goals in sight as you do your work. What’s difficult about humans is that goals change. If you’re not in touch with yourself, you won’t understand these changes and you’ll find yourself struggling to be productive without remembering why you wanted to be so productive in the first place. Taking time for yourself puts you back in touch with who you are. It helps you confirm your inner drive towards ambitious productivity. In the end, learning to take time for yourself could be the single most important thing that you do to become more productive.

FROM http://b.www.mixx.com/jVKx?fpr=AwsOas&campid=SSN&ssns=41&

FROM http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/five-hints-to-reclaim-time-for-yourself.html

By Shane Magee

Sometimes it seems like your life just isn’t your own anymore – work, family, and other obligations swallow it up to such an extent that we often look back and wonder where all the time went! No wonder, then, that many of us feel as if life is just passing us by, and we can do no more than helplessly watch. However, with these tips and a little willpower, you can create time to center yourself and face the world with renewed enthusiasm.

Use your commute time

The most obvious opportunity to create time for yourself is the commute to work. Of course, it’s hardly the ideal conditions for some quality time — you either have both hands clamped to the steering wheel, or are crammed shoulder to shoulder on a bus or train! There’s only one thing that can be said in situations like this — God bless the iPod: an inspiring audio book, meditative visualization or piece of music can be just the thing to leave you walking into work energised and refreshed. However, even if you don’t have anything to listen to, you can still turn the time to your advantage. Try a spot of ‘observing the world’ – letting your mind go absolutely still, and seeing everything and everybody around you as it really is, without your mind to filter it. A few minutes of looking at life this way each day can really bring your own inner being to the fore, and lead to a new and more empathetic understanding of the world around you.

Take some time between tasks

Often we rush into a new task still thinking about the task we have just completed, which affects our productivity as our mental processes are split between two things at the same time. Instead, why not take a conscious pause in between one task and the next? Use the time — it could be as short as a minute — to reaffirm to yourself what is truly important (this can be very easily lost running from one event to another). For a few seconds, feel that you are clearing all the mental chattering connected to what you were just doing, and creating an empty space of peace and silence at the core of your being. Then at the end of this quiet moment you can direct all your attention to the next task you are about to perform.

Mornings are golden

The best time to choose for yourself is early morning — the atmosphere is calmer and more peaceful, and there is almost zero possibility of a phone call or some other such distraction interrupting you. Having time for yourself as soon as you wake up also makes you more centred as you approach the day’s multifarious tasks — a little like putting money in the bank. Also, many hobbies, like jogging or meditation, are much easier and more enjoyable when done before the outside world really kicks into gear. If at all possible, try and have that time before breakfast — mealtimes have a funny way of eating (pardon the pun) into any time you had planned afterwards.

Read the rest of the article at http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/five-hints-to-reclaim-time-for-yourself.html

Shane Magee writes on motivation, creativity, sport and getting the very most out of life; more of his articles can be found on the Sri Chinmoy self-improvement blog on his own personal site. Every so often, he gives free workshops on meditation and effective living in his home town of Dublin, Ireland. When not doing that, he enjoys running and learning to play the flute.

http://www.lifeorganizers.com/Time-Management/The-Organized-Prioritization/Making-Time-For-Yourself.html

If you feel frustrated, tired, overwhelmed or just out of balance with yourself, maybe it’s because you don’t make time for yourself. Change your ways. Practice some self-care.
It often seems that our days are engulfed in a myriad of tasks. Today we have many responsibilities and many roles – spouse, parent, sibling, child, friend, and career worker.
Do you find you lose yourself in your relationships, in your nurturing roles, and in the busyness of life? Does it seem like your life has become a series of tasks to complete, rather than moments to enjoy? We often get so caught up in the DOING that we forget to BE.

Usually the first thing to go in this whirlwind of activity is time for ourselves. Lack of time for ourselves often leads to feeling frustrated, tired, overwhelmed and out of balance. Without this time for self, we lose sight of what’s important to us and of what we need to be our best.

If you are feeling like life is out of control, that you are undervalued, that you are too busy, or if you put the needs of others consistently before your own, then it is time to create some time and space for yourself. Taking time for yourself allows you to renew, heal, and create reserves of energy and peace. Honoring yourself enables you to discover your truth, access your creativity and experience a sense of peace, wholeness, purpose, and balance.

Taking time for yourself is really about Self-Care and is an extremely important component to creating the life you want. It is about honoring yourself and connecting with yourself. Taking care of yourself is one of the first steps on the journey of discovering your truth and accessing your creativity. When you take time for yourself it allows you to stop doing for awhile and to just BE. It is in the Being where your power lies. You automatically raise your standards and capabilities and create potential and possibility in your life. When you honour and nurture yourself you can hear your inner voice much more clearly – you can hear your own truth and this connection enables you to live authentically.

In order to make time for yourself consider the following. Write the answers down on a piece of paper or in your journal or notebook.

Coaching Questions

How could it be a gift to others to take time for yourself?
What would it take to make time for yourself a priority?
What activities bring you joy or nurture you?
What is keeping you from doing the things that energize and inspire you?
How can you bring more of these simple treats into your day?
Take Action

Commit to doing one activity from the list you created each day for the next week.

Each day take 5 minutes for yourself. Find a quiet place where you can sit and not be disturbed. Close your eyes and simply follow the path of your breath. Just focus on your breath. If other thoughts come in, just let them go. If you find this difficult at first, then focus on repeating the affirmation “I am happy and peaceful”. Quieting your mind and body and focusing on the breath will help to change your emotional state and provide your soul with a peaceful respite from the busyness of your day.

Time for yourself does not have to take half a day or come at someone else’s expense. In fact, taking the time to replenish and nurture yourself will give you more energy and you will be better able to support those you love. It is often the simple things that can make the biggest difference. For example, sitting in your favorite chair and sipping a cup of tea, going for a walk, or listening to your favorite music. I encourage you to carve out 15 minutes for yourself each day to do something that nurtures you and brings you joy. Try it as an experiment for one week and see what changes for you. Reclaim your Self! When you do, you will experience a sense of peace, renewal, and connection.

I offer a variety of e-courses and e-retreats that are designed to help you Reclaim your Self and experience the peace and sense of wholeness that comes from knowing your purpose and living authentically.

——————————————————————————–

Jan Hornford is a Life Coach & Retreat Leader whose passion is to help individuals re-connect with their own wisdom and power and to support them to create the life they want. Her retreats offer the opportunity to experience joyful self-care, connection, and possibility. For more information, please take a look at her website: http://www.futureperfect.ca Or, call her: 403-313-4064 For more information about the free 4 week e-course: “Living Authentically: Honoring Your Truth in Everyday Life” visit: http://www.futureperfect.ca/store/index.php?cPath=1

In this video, I share that the hardest thing to manage with my son’s learning issues is my own anxiety and stress. I share a conversation that I had with another mom regarding our mutual challenges and it felt GREAT to talk to someone who was going through the same thing. I want to share with you that I understand what you are going through and that it is sooo important to take care of yourself!!

Go to www.lipstickwisdom.com to find information and tips for women on taking care of ourselves and information on why we tend to NOT take care of ourselves.

Talk with you soon!!

Yes, My Friend, I Know What You are Going Through

One of the hardest things to manage in my life right now is me. My kids are lucky in that they have a Type-A hard charging mom. My kids are unlucky in that they have a Type-A hard charging mom.

My son is lucky in that I started to recognize signs of his trouble, from what people tell me, early and as a result we started to get him help early. He is in first grade now and the expectations of his learning have increased, as they should, with his age. Homework is now a one to two hour nightly endeavor that usually involves a great deal of activity, cajoling, negotiating and, at times, distress. My son is unlucky in that I have not figured out how to handle my own anxiety and stress with his learning issues.

It’s like everything else. There are good days and there are bad days. He has his good and bad days. I have my good and bad days. It requires a great deal of energy to think creatively when working on concepts with him, to incorporate the kinetic learning into his homework (my son learns best when physical activity is combined with his learning) and to constantly cajole, negotiate, sooth and encourage.

There are some days when I see his work that I think, ok, he is making progress — Hooray. There are other days when I just watch him work so so so hard and not understand and I just want to cry. Often I am stressed out, exhausted and not sure what I can best do to help him.

It is exhausting. And I worry constantly.

The other night I was at my daughter’s school for a school event. I ended up talking with a friend of mine who just this year moved her child out of the public school and sent them to a private school for children with learning issues. We were talking about the homework, and the worry, the stress, and the exhaustion. We were talking about how we worried that we were not spending as much time with out other children because of the situation. And you know what – it felt great to talk with someone else who COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD. Who knew EXACTLY what was going on with me because she was going through the same experience. I have not spoken with her since our conversation but from out conversation, I felt stronger, more determined and more energized.

I also made a resolution that to take better care of my family – I need to take better care of myself. So starting with 5 to 15 minutes a day, I am going to sit quietly, ideally outside, and focus on feeling gratitude and focus on reenergizing myself in order to do what I need to do. I am also going to try (does this sounds like a New Years resolution?) to get to the gym more.

So I sit here in front of you today to tell you — I know what you are going through. I know that it is exhausting and stressful. I understand. But know that you are doing a great job and what you are doing is important. Keep going. Take care of your child – help them but please please please also remember to take care of yourself.

I have just added a Self Care section to the Lipstick Wisdom website. Check it out and find some helpful tips to find those few moments a day to solely focus on you. You have to take care of yourself in order to best take care of your family.