Kathleen O’Hara is a psychotherapist who faced the murder of her son and his roommate. Kathleen reveals that no amount of professional training prepares you for the sudden death of your own child. She describes facing the “ocean of grief” that occurs when you lose your child and describes how she crossed that ocean to survive. This is a Lipstick Wisdom produced video. Run time of 3:16.

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Kathleen’s book, “A Grief Like No Other: Surviving the Violent Death of Someone You Love”, is the book no one wants to ever have to buy; sadly, many people continue to need it. From 9/11 to Cindy Sheehan’s son – from mass tragedies like the recent London bombings to Law and Order type crimes that make the news only to be replaced by another name. As such, more people are left with the aftermath of dealing with the violent death of a loved one. It brings its own special brand of grieving since victim’s families can spend years dealing with legal ramifications, guilt, and a myriad of other circumstances that don’t accompany “normal” deaths. Kathleen O’Hara knows both sides of this coin. As a therapist, she has counseled hundreds of people dealing with grief. As a mother, she saw her worst fears realized when her college-aged son was brutally murdered in 1999. In the aftermath of Aaron’s murder, O’Hara developed the seven stage journey that is at the heart of A Grief Like No Other. Although this is a book for those left behind in the aftermath of violence, it offers concrete and practical steps and stages, allowing family and friends safe passage through this incredibly harrowing journey.

“Waiting with Gabriel: A Story of Cherishing a Baby’s Brief Life” by Amy Kuebelbeck

“Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby” by Deborah L. Davis

“Finding Hope When a Child Dies” by Sukie Miller

“Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death” by Sherokee Isle

“Precious Lives, Painful Choices: A Prenatal Decision-making Guide” by Sherokee Isle

“Life Touches Life: A Mother’s Story of Stillbirth and Healing” by Lorraine Ash

“The Gift of Time: Continuing Your Pregnancy with a Terminal Prenatal Diagnosis” by Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis (to be published in 2010)

“The Journey is More Than the Destination” by Cathy and Frank James

“I’m absolutely convinced that men and women, fathers and mothers physiologically grieve differently. What we discovered was those things that worked for one, didn’t always work for the other,” says Frank James, co-author of The Journey Is More Than the Destination. Many grieving fathers will not seek outside help. They ignore books that give advice on coping with death, while women are more apt to read and reread many books on coping. Everyone is different. Men and women find different methods of coping with the unbearable loss of a child. Use whatever steps work for you. There are no formal rules or stages to go through. Women usually take advantage of help organizations, welcoming the support and comfort of others experiencing the same type of loss. Men tend to go it alone. As long as their grief does not lead to: self-abuse, abuse of loved ones, or taking advantage of the situation for detrimental ends, then there is nothing they can do wrong during the grieving journey. There is no right or wrong. There is no timeline or guide to follow. Grieving parents need to find what works for them, giving themselves time to cope with their devastating loss.

To hear an interview with the authors go to www.insidesuccessradio.com/Guests/Cathy-James.