From http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/03/20/ep.family.care/index.html

Empowered Patient, a regular feature from CNN Medical News correspondent Elizabeth Cohen, helps put you in the driver’s seat when it comes to health care.

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) — There are a lot of Marys in Mary Jane McGill’s extended family, so each one gets a special name. Mary who lives in Roslindale, Massachusetts, is “Mary Rozy.” Mary from Everett, Massachusetts, is called “Mary Everett.” And McGill? She’s “Mary Google.”
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When Mary Nee, back second from left. needed an in-home caregiver, her daughter turned to the Internet.

“I use it for everything,” McGill says of the search engine. “My family kids me about it.”

One day last week, McGill used Google in a way even she never dreamed of: to find care for her mother, who has Alzheimer’s disease and suddenly needed someone living at her house 24/7. Her search quickly turned up a number of the many resources that can help you connect with in-home help for a parent who’s aging, ill or both. And this week, Empowered Patient will save you some searching time.

Up until last month, McGill’s father, Tom Nee, had been taking care of his wife, but then he died of cancer.

“He died sooner than we expected, and we were in a complete state of panic about who would take care of Mom,” McGill says. “She can’t be left alone. It would be like leaving a toddler alone. But we don’t want her in a nursing home, either.”
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There are several articles in this post:

Why the Holidays Are the Best Time to Talk to Loved Ones
By: Elinor Ginzler | Source: AARP.org | Date Posted: November 2008
From : http://www.aarp.org/family/caregiving/articles/ginzler_family_caregivers.html
 
Elinor Ginzler is a national expert on independent living and aging issues. She currently serves as AARP’s lead spokesperson on caregiving, housing, and mobility issues, including older drivers’ safety.

BY THE NUMBERS

Did you know …
• In 2007, there were about 34 million family caregivers providing care at any given point in time. About 52 million provided care at some time during the year.

• In 2007, the “typical” caregiver in the U.S. was a 46-year-old woman who worked outside the home and spent more than 20 hours per week providing unpaid care to her mother.

November is National Family Caregivers Month—a time to honor the commitment of people all across the country who give their time, energy, and resources to enhance the lives of family members who need help. So who are caregivers and what do they do?

The term “caregiver” designates “a family member and/or friend who provides unpaid care to loved ones who need assistance with daily tasks.” Most of us take it for granted that we can perform these tasks—until they are difficult or impossible for us to perform. I’m talking about things as seemingly simple as bathing, dressing, eating, or as necessary as balancing checkbooks, getting to the doctor, and shopping for groceries.

When friends and family need help, it can mean a little or a lot. And the help that’s required can be short-term or long-term. Every situation is different and unique; that’s what makes caregiving a complex issue. Unfortunately, family members are often caught unprepared for the task.

November is a perfect month to honor caregivers, because it is a time of year when families gather for the holidays. And caregiving is a family affair: More than 75 percent of the care provided within the United States is given by family and friends. So this November, when your family is together for Thanksgiving, take the opportunity to check on Mom, Dad, or other family members, to find out whether they could use help of any kind.

Many of us do assess our loved ones’ living situations reflexively. We look in the refrigerator to check the expiration dates on food products, inspect the home to determine whether repairs are needed, and, most important, sit down with loved ones to talk about how they are doing. Discussing these kinds of issues with family members means dipping our toes into the caregiving pool.

Family conversations about personal autonomy can be challenging. Mom or Dad may say everything’s fine, something akin to “Don’t worry about me.” But you may see your mother having trouble walking, or notice a pile of unopened bills going back several months. You may see dents or scrapes on cars that were unblemished before; or you might notice prescription bottles that have no refills remaining.

Here are some tips for how to start the family conversation:

• Take the focus off the person who may need caregiving. Use the famous “I” statements: “I’m worried about you, Mom”; “I want to be sure that everything is OK”; “I noticed the car had a broken side-view mirror.”

• Try finding a local news article to jump-start the conversation. It might have a title along the lines of, “Senior Center Open: Offering Classes and Meal Program.”

• Talk about a friend who’s having issues with her older parents. For example, say, “My friend Jean’s mom is getting frail. How do you think she should talk to her mom about getting help?”

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