Girls Night Out: An Empowering Discussion about
Women and Aging

Girls Night Out
Thursday, October 1, 2009
6-9 pm
Fairmount Boathouse
#2 Boathouse Row
Kelly Drive
Philadelphia, PA 19130

Wesley Enhanced Living (WEL) will host Girls Night Out, a special evening of lively discussion, savory hors d’oeuvres, cocktails, wine tasting and chocolates on Philly’s renowned Boathouse Row.

As women, we have our plates full when it comes to aging – wrinkles and sagging (ugh!), planning for retirement, caring for aging parents and managing our health. Gather and network with women of all ages for an engaging panel and an empowering roundtable discussion on our relationship with aging.

A Girls Night Out panel discussion will feature leaders in healthcare policy and media. The panel will be emceed by Daily News/Philly.com Columnist Ronnie Polaneczky and will feature Renee Chenault-Fattah, NBC10 News Anchor; Anne Tumlinson, Senior Advisor, Avalere Health LLC and Nathalie Bartle, Professor, Department of Community Health & Prevention, Drexel University School of Public Health.

Ticket prices are $75 per gal. Free parking is available. Proceeds from Girls Night Out will benefit hundreds of Philadelphia seniors who call WEL at Evangelical Manor home.

Registration: Please contact Lisa Birton at 215-354-3193 or lbirton@wel.org or visit www.wel.org

Press: Please contact Holly Mantle (215-825-9633 or hmantle@levlane.com) or Caroline Pennartz (215-825-9644 or cpennartz@levlane.com) at LevLane

This blog is written by Sheryl Karas who, for five years ending in 2005, worked as a Family Caregiving Consultant at the Alzheimer’s Association and Del Mar Caregiver Resource Center and wrote a monthly newsletter for families taking care of loved ones with progressive incurable memory loss and dementia. Those articles are now a book and this blog was created to share it with you.

The blog contains tidbits of personal stories as well as a great amount of practical wisdom in addressing the needs of both the elderly and their caregivers.

Dr. Steinberg is the Associate Medical Director for Skilled Nursing Care at Sharp Mission Park Medical Group in Vista, California. He also serves as the medical director at Hospice by the Sea, and is a clinical geriatrics instructor at Camp Pendleton Naval Hospital. In addition, Dr. Steinberg is the President of the California Association of Long-Term Care Medicine.

Long-Term Care: Long-Term Care Problem Solving

The video addresses the following questions:
1. What is a geriatric care manager?
2. How do I find a geriatric care manager?
3. How do I find long-term care for a chronically ill parent?
4. What is a ‘geriatric screening’ for long-term care?
5. What’s the best way to approach other family members about long-term care for aging parents?
6. What if my parent is resistant to long-term care?
7. How do I help an aging parent if I live far away?
 

Meet the expert: Dr. Karl Steinberg

VideoJug: Karl Steinberg

One solution would be to hire a geriatric care manager, who can assess the elders needs, develop a care plan and provide ongoing monitoring, as appropriate. Care managers are often called surrogate siblings, providing the type and level of care that you would like to provide yourself, if only you lived closer.

When family members have ongoing disagreements over the elders care, such as residency decisions or home care, a mediator may be appropriate to unite the family towards common issues. A geriatric care manager advocates for the older adults needs. An elder mediator is an impartial party, involving the concerns of all generations. Often, new ideas are generated through the process of mediation that nobody would have thought of on their own!

Do you know about the 80/20 rule? It’s a business truism that says that 80 percent of your sales come from just 20 percent of your (most loyal) customers. Airline frequent flyer programs are the 80/20 rule in action.

Today I learned of a variation: the 40/70 rule, which says if you are at least 40 years old, and your parents are 70, it’s time for you to start talking to them about a host of issues.

We all know how difficult it can be to talk with our parents about certain topics. Jake Harwood, a communications professor at the University of Arizona and author of the book Understanding Communication and Aging, provides us with seven helpful tips:

1. Get Started.
If you’re 40 or your parents are 70, it’s time to start observing and gathering information carefully and thoughtfully. Don’t reach a conclusion from a single observation and decide on the best solution until you have gathered information with an open mind and talked with your parents.
2. Talk it out.
Approach your parents with a conversation. Discuss what you’ve observed and ask your parents what they think is going on. If your parents acknowledge the situation, ask what they think would be good solutions. If your parents don’t recognize a problem, use concrete examples to support your case.
3. Sooner is best.
Talk sooner rather than later when a crisis has occurred. If you know your loved one has poor eyesight or has trouble driving at night, begin to address those issues before a problem arises.
4. Forget the Baby Talk
Remember you are talking to an adult, not a child. Patronizing speech or baby talk will put older adults on the defensive and convey a lack of respect for them. Put yourself in your parents’ shoes and think of how you would want to be addressed in the situation.
5. Maximize Independence.
Always try to move toward solutions that provide the maximum amount of independence for the older person. Look for answers that optimize strengths and compensate for problems. For instance, if your loved ones need help at home, look for tools that can help them maintain their strengths. Professional caregiving services provide assistance in a number of areas including meal preparation, light housekeeping or medication reminders. Or find friends who can help.
6. Be Aware of the Whole Situation.
If your dad dies and soon afterward your mom’s house seems to be in disarray, it’s probably not because she suddenly became ill. It’s much more likely to stem from a lack of social support and the loss of a life-long relationship. Make sure that your mom has friends and a social life.
7. Ask for Help
Many of the issues of aging can be solved by providing parents with the support they need to continue to maintain their independence.

The 13-page booklet, The 40-70 Rule: A Guide to Conversation Starters for Boomers and Their Senior Loved Ones, is based on interviews with 1,500 U.S. and Canadian adults with aging parents.

Article can be found at: http://www.seniorsforliving.com/blog/2008/07/03/the-4070-rule-time-to-talk/

1. How many Americans provide home care for their aging parents in the US today?
2. Who provides the majority of in-home care services?
3. What are signs that my parent needs home health care?
4. How can I decide if my parent should move in with me?
5. Who can help families develop and implement a home care plan?
6. What is a geriatric care manager?
7. How can I find a geriatric care manager?
8. What home care services are available to help families?
9. What if my parent needs medical care every day?
10. Is long-term home care a practical solution?
11. Is the quality of home care as good as nursing facilities?
12. What are the most important home care issues that should be addressed?
13. What if my parent refuses to consider home care options?
14. How can I help an aging parent if I live far away?

Bunni Dybnis
Director of Professional Services, LivHOME, Inc.
Qualifications: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist; Certified Care Manager.
Summary: With over 20 years experience as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Bunni Dybnis has developed and overseen programs in the areas of death and dying, bereavement, and frail elderly care. She is a nationally recognized speaker on a variety of topics concerning the elderly and winner of the Rose Kleiner Award for “dedication and service in the field of eldercare management.”

Home Care: Aging Parents And Home Care

Meet the expert, Bonnie Dybnis

VideoJug: Bunni Dybnis