ADHD and More
adhdandmore.blogspot.com

ADHD and More is a really informative blog which contains “Essays, articles, news releases, my story as a parent of an ADHD child and more ….”

ADHD Bipolar and Beyond
blog.adhd-bipolar-and-beyond.com

In her blog, Kari, talks about the daily struggles and joys of raising a son with ADHD.

ADHD Guide
adhdguide.blogspot.com
shaneshares.blogspot.com

ADHD Guide offers links to all kinds of really useful resources and interesting articles that relate to ADHD. Shane also has her own personal blog at shaneshares.blogspot.com where she has personal information on herself, her family and her oldest son who has ADHD and learning disabilities.

ADHD Momma
adhdmomma.blogspot.com

Penny’s blog chronicles her and her family’s daily life with ADHD.

Adderworld
adderworld.com

Bryan, a published author, shares media based information on ADHD as well as personl stories that are usually presented in a very humorous light.

Angel’s Mind
http://www.angelsmind.co.za

Angel has a late teenage aged son with ADHD.

Can Mom Be Calm?
canmombecalm.blogspot.com

Jen has 2 special needs kids. Her blog posts are written in a compelling manner which shares a tremendous amount of information and wisdom.

Holly’s Corner
http://www.hollyscorner.com

Holly shares information, personal stories, recipes and experiences with a tweed aged daughter with ADHD.

LD Parents
ldparents.blogspot.com

This blog is from a single mom with 2 great kids each with their own unique learning styles.

Karen’s Blog
www.lipstickwisdom.com

Karen shares information and wisdom she has gained from her family’s personal experiences with their adorable son!

My ADD Blog
www.myaddblog.com

Tara McGillicuddy is a woman with ADHD who is a professional ADHD Coach.

strong>The Peal Family
http://thepealfamily.blogspot.com

Becky shares her experiences with her two boys.

Power Moms Unite
www.powermomsunite.com

This blog is written by a mom with ADHD children who is also a professional Occupational Therapist.

Slurping Life
slurpinglife.typepad.com

A mom by birth and adoption shares — through photography, writing ahd humor — parenting boys who live with autism, ADHD, cerebral palsy, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder and more. Reminding everyone that children with special needs are kids.

Totally ADD
www.totallyadd.com

This is the website associated with the film “ADD & Loving It?” The movie is a documentary about adult Attention Deficity Disorder. The one hour film is hosted by actor/comedian Patrick McKeena and written, produced and directed by fellow comedian Rick Green who has ADD.

Tracy Nicolaus
www.tracynicolaus.blogspot.com

Tracy has ADHD and has 3 sons each of whom has ADD or ADHD.

Becky
I am… wife to a wonderful husband, mother to 2 awesome boys, daughter to fabulous parents, sister to 2 phenomenal women, friend to many… and a child of God.

Do They Know?

http://thepealfamily.blogspot.com/2009/09/do-they-know.html

The other day, as I was watching all the kids get on the school bus outside our front door, I dreamed about having a “normal” kid… a kid who gets themselves ready in the morning without 100 reminders or redirections… a kid who does their homework without complaining and completes it in a normal amount of time… a kid who doesn’t have a meltdown every time he doesn’t get his way… and the list goes on and on.

Then I wondered… Do they know?

Do the other parents know what we go through on a daily basis, just to get ready for school?
Do the other parents know what we go through every night when we have to do homework?
Do they realize how good they really have it? Do they appreciate their kids?

I love my kids with all my heart and I wouldn’t trade them for the world… but some days I just wish for some semblance of normalcy. What is our “normal” you may ask – here are just a few glimpses of what it is like to be a parent of a kid with ADHD:

- Simple tasks like getting dressed, making a bed, or brushing their teeth require numerous reminders and redirections and it takes 10 times longer than it should.
- Sometimes I just help them get dressed, eventhough they can do it by themselves, just so that it won’t take so long.

Read the rest of this entry at: http://thepealfamily.blogspot.com/2009/09/do-they-know.html

Becky
I am… wife to a wonderful husband, mother to 2 awesome boys, daughter to fabulous parents, sister to 2 phenomenal women, friend to many… and a child of God.

Sample Blog Entry:

This Blog Post Can Be Found at : http://thepealfamily.blogspot.com/2009/09/easy-essays.html

Friday, September 11, 2009
Easy Essays
I stumbled upon this site this week and it has been a huge help to my older son who is not formally diagnosed but has mild ADHD symptoms. He really struggles with planning his thoughts and getting started on writing. He is in 5th grade this year and they are doing weekly essays – yeah more work for mom! I had a discussion with him yesterday about needing to do his essay before soccer practice and he complained that it would take too long and there was no way he could get it done before soccer… but when I got home, the essay was completed thanks to this wonderful FREE site! He said he did it in less than 30 minutes and it was the first time the essay actually flowed properly. Three cheers for The Easy Essay website!

www.theeasyessay.com

Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan, a published author, shares media based information on ADHD as well as personal stories that are usually presented in a very humorous light!

What About Bryan?

After struggling through a painful childhood, a frustrating young adulthood, and a decade in therapy, Bryan Hutchinson finally found the key to unlocking the complexities of his mind. He was diagnosed with ADHD, type 1 (inattentive) at 37 years old – and after his initial shock at the diagnosis, he was ultimately filled with liberation and validation, knowing finally that he wasn’t simply lazy, or a failure, or incapable of sustaining relationships and living a life of purpose. He embarked on a journey of self-discovery, learning along the way the power of positive thinking and reframing his negative self-image into a positive one filled with optimism.
As he learned more about ADHD, and met more and more people like him, who had felt like failures for their entire lives, who lived with pain and self-loathing every day, who felt powerless to change their lives, Bryan was filled with a need to bring to others the peace and hope that he himself had found. He wrote his first book, “One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir – Surviving Life with Undiagnosed ADD” in the hope that people reading his book would know that the higher ground is out there, and more importantly, no matter how far down you are, the higher ground is within your grasp. Bryan has come so far, through therapy and mentorship, that it’s often assumed by those that don’t know him or haven’t read his book, that his ADHD is only a mild case. It’s only after you understand where he came from, that his current success becomes inspirational.

Bryan has become an advocate in the ADHD community. His blog, www.ADDerWorld.com , is an online journal of his experiences and opinions concerning life and ADHD. In many ways Bryan’s blog is a continuance of his first book. His second book, “The Brilliant Reality of ADHD”, is a collection of his personal blog posts, as well as new articles written especially for the book. He also created the www.ADDerWorld.ning.com social network, which is quickly growing to be one of the largest and most active ADHD websites on the net, where those touched by ADHD can come together as a community to support and encourage each other in both struggles and triumphs. Bryan’s dream for ADDer World is for it to become an organization of motivational encouragement, spreading positive thinking and positive redirection for those struggling with the frustrations of ADHD. He has participated in limited public speaking and looks forward to expanding in that area to continue to assist others in various ways, highlighting the realities of ADHD, and showing how positive thinking can help ADDers take control of their traits and realize their talents.
Bryan is married to a wonderfully supportive and inspiring woman, Joan. She has been a true guiding force in Bryan’s life, showing him unconditional support and unfailing belief in his abilities. Bryan and Joan spend time together watching movies and taking day trips to different cities, just to walk around and experience the sights. He devotes most of his spare time to advancing ADDer World, providing hope and inspiration for people with ADHD everywhere.
 
 

Sample Post
http://adderworld.com/blog1/2009/06/29/is-it-adhd-or-bad-luck/#more-1965
 
 

Is it ADHD or Bad Luck?
June 29th, 2009 · 25 Comments · 01 My Thoughts

A few weeks ago I was reminded of something which I sincerely and vehemently believed for a long time: Which was that I was cursed with a terrible case of life-long bad luck (if you have ADHD then you know what I am talking about). In my imagination I figured I must have done something terribly wrong in a past life and; therefore, I was paying the price for it in this life. Well, I was later diagnosed with ADHD, just as awful, I thought at the time, but not as unmanageable as pure, cross-a-black-cat, break-a-mirror, step-on-a-crack, bad luck.

Let me tell you what happened, and feel free to let me know if something similar has happened to you. Nobody wants to be alone in their follies, right?

I was checking text messages on my iphone, while following after Joan into a local McDonald’s. She was gaining some distance ahead of me and went in before me. Without looking up I opened the door and the edge of it caught me just above my left eye and on the ridge of my nose! It hurt so bad that I saw black for a few moments. My hands shot up to cover the area (dropped my iphone!) and I started saying a few choice words, you know, to help dull the pain, and when I took my hands away they were covered in blood (good thing I dropped my iphone). To make matters worse, I noticed three little girls looking up at me pointing, two had their mouths open in shock and the third had her other hand over her mouth, clearly trying to stifle her giggles! Worse still, the employees just stared at me without asking if I was okay or needed, I don’t know, maybe a napkin, or an ambulance perhaps?

Finally, I realized this was more serious than a bump and dashed into the bathroom and spent about 45 minutes cleaning myself up and getting the blood to nearly stop, it was an insistent bleeder. Meanwhile, Joan was searching for me everywhere, freaking out, especially after finding my iphone (yeah, think about that a moment). She finally knocked on the bathroom door and looked in. When she saw me, she was horrified and wanted to take me to the hospital (I had to calm her down), but all I wanted was some coffee and a salad – oh, and an extra large band-aid would have helped.

When we made it to the counter the staff still did not offer me any condolence or assistance – it is a good thing it wasn’t as bad as it looked or worse. I know it was my fault, but Jeeze, maybe a couple band-aids could have been offered. I was too embarrassed to ask, and wouldn’t let Joan ask either. I used a couple napkins to cover my wounds (I was a spectacle), we ordered our food and ate – I mean, I have ADHD, so this wasn’t my first run-in (pun intended), I knew what to do and it wasn’t going to stop me from eating.

The whole incident left a mark, in more ways than one.

Before I was actually diagnosed with ADHD, I did this sort of thing all of the time. Diagnosis didn’t cure me of such mishaps, but they are less frequent now and they usually do not draw blood, well, not as much.

Tara McGillicuddy, the author of http://myaddblog.com, is a woman with ADHD who is a professional ADHD Coach. Her blog is full of useful information about books, seminars, support groups and personal insights into the mind of a woman with ADHD. It is an insightful blog that helps anyone dealing with ADHD.
 
Tara McGillicuddy

I am a Senior Certified ADHD Coach and a woman with ADHD.

Tara McGillicuddy is an Senior Certified ADHD Coach . She has been educating and supporting people with ADD through her website Living with ADD for several years. She is also the director of ADDClasses.com.

Tara is a professional member of the ADHD Coaches Organization and the Institute for the Advancement of ADHD Coaching.
 
 
Sample blog post

This blog post can be found at http://www.myaddblog.com/2009/04/adult-adhd-and-thinking-the-worst.html

Adult ADHD and Thinking the Worst

It’s quite common for Adults with ADHD to automatically think the worst and jump to the wrong conclusions. Some of it is do to impulsivity and some of it is due to past experiences. When Adults with ADHD have a poor self image we automatically think the worst about ourselves and it’s quite often not the case.

So when you are thinking the worst about yourself stop for a few moments to ask yourself if you have all the facts. If you don’t then it’s probably a good idea to try and get them. As adults with ADHD we beat up ourselves enough for real things and we don’t need to beat ourselves up for things that may not even be true.

1. Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive
2. Predominantly inattentive
3. Combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive

The most prominent features of ADHD include:

1. An inability to control behavior or impulses.
2. An inability to delay gratification.
3. Excessive physical activity that is unrelated to the activity at hand.
4. Poor ability to sustain attention or to persist with tasks.
 
Each individual with ADHD is different with their own set of strengths and challenges. However, in addition to the hyperactivity or the inattentiveness, the ADHD child often has challenges in a group of skills called executive functions. According to Wikipedia, executive functions is a “concept used by psychologists and neuroscientists to describe a loosely defined collection of brain processes which are responsible for planning, cognitive flexibility, abstract thinking, rule acquisition, initiating appropriate actions and inhibiting inappropriate actions, and selecting relevant sensory information”.
 
Often with the ADHD child, the impairment is more than them being hyperactive or inattentive. Other possible ramifications or symptoms of the child with ADHD include challenges, limitations or problems with:

1. Organization

10. Great variability in task or work performance.

Bottom line, the disorder is complicated and manifests itself in many ways. In addition to all of this, there is a high incidence of learning issues as well as anxiety and depression for those with ADHD.
 
I believe that it is up to the family to educate the teachers and administers on the wide range of challenges their child faces due to ADHD. Do not assume that they know or understand. Remember that you know your child best. However the ideal situation occurs when the parents, teachers and administrators work together to creatively deploy and teach strategies that address the child’s weaknesses. Strategies like lists, reminders, previews, and repetition help the child with ADHD address the realities of the disorder and teach ways to cope with the challenges of the disorder. That ideal situation cannot occur, however, until teachers and administrators are educated. We all need to do our part to make that happen.
 
 
I close with a Bill of Rights that I found on a blog of a mother who son, 18, was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6. Her name is Angel, she lives in South Africa and shares her story of raising her son (among other topics) at http://www.angelsmind.co.za.

 
 
ADHD Bill of Rights

1.“Help me to focus…” Please teach me through my sense of ‘touch’, I need ‘hands on’ and ‘body movement’.

Author unknown

 

To learn more about the ADHD Executive Functioning Research that has been conducted please see:

Great summary chart of the Executive Function Domains can be found at http://www.lehighpsych.com/art_adhd.htm

Dr. Thomas E Brown
http://www.drthomasebrown.com/brown_model/index.html

Dr. Russell Barkley
http://www.russellbarkley.org/adhd-nature-of-self-control-book.htm

http://www.chrisdendy.com/executive.htm

http://www.thehelpgroup.org/pdf/adhd-dys/Brown_ADHD.pdf

Angel has a teenage son (at the time of this writing, 18) who was diagnosed with ADHD (severe hyperactivity) at age 6. She once read that having ADHD was like a person driving a Ferrari fitted with Toyota brakes. There’s all the beauty, power and speed, but none of the control. Its one of her favourite ADHD metaphors and she uses it to remind herself and her son that he is brilliant- but needs guidance. Angel shares both daily life, successes, failures and things she has learned along the way.

Angel

I’m a coffee-addicted; junk-food-junkie; social-smoking; single-mom to a teenager. My darling Damien (AKA Knucklehead) has ADHD and it makes our rollercoaster slash bumpercar ride very interesting!

I have six tattoos and three cats, and when I grow up I want to be one of those strange ladies that people are a little afraid of ‘coz she walks around in public in huge, purple, flower bedecked hats and feather-boas.

Here is a sample blog post http://www.angelsmind.co.za/2009/06/13/my-adhasa-parenting-seminar-presentation/.
 

My ADHASA Parenting Seminar Presentation
by Angel

On June 13th, at 14h20, I got up in front of an audience of about 50 people- which included my mommy darling, my sister B, my Glugster, and L and P (the parents from one of the families I “mentor” via phone and email) to speak at the ADHASA Parenting Seminar.

It was great.

I think it went quite well, with people nodding and laughing in all the right places. I only had 15 minutes- and a set topic which helped me stay focussed- but I do hope I’ll be invited to speak again and be given more time next year.

As always, the seminar was immensely interesting and informative, and I am already looking forward to next year.

And here, as promised, is my presentation- including my introduction which didn’t get read out but was provided in the notes given to attendees.

————————————————————————————————
Angel is mom to her 18 year old ADHDer son, Damien, and until about a year ago she was a single mom.
Her son has taught her life lessons- like stopping to smell the roses, and seeing the beauty in a simple sunrise, and he continues to teach her to take it one day at a time.
She’s a business consultant by trade; she collects ADHD reference books and is an avid campaigner for ADHD awareness.
You can read about her life with Damien on her blog here, and you can email her here
————————————————————————————————

Growing Up with ADHD- a Parent’s Experience

I’d like to start by reading a poem written by a woman named Michelle Flood, whose son Austin was 6 when she wrote it. It’s a poem I have read and re-read on several occasions, to remind myself that I am not ever alone in this.

You’ve Seen Me Before

I’m the mom dragging her kid out of the car in the school parking lot while he holds on to the interior for dear life.

I’m the mom with an ADHD son.

 
 
As my intro said, my ADHDer son is 18 years old, and I was a single mom.

When my Damien was first diagnosed, I did what most of us ADHDer parents did back then especially- I clammed up. I didn’t tell Damien, I didn’t tell my friends or family, and I didn’t tell the school.
I was determined that I would fix this on my own. It took me many, many… many years and even more hard-won lessons to get where I am now, and I’m hoping that by sharing my story- I can help other ADHDer parents learn those lessons a little sooner than I did.

I’m also not going to go too much into my son’s ADHD issues- because I don’t want to scare you- but I will say that he was diagnosed at 6 years old with ADHD combined type, with severe hyperactivity.
Our life together has been FAR from boring let me tell you. Most who know me will tell you I can go on and on for days, but I have a limited time today and a set topic to stick to.

And on that note, I’d like to welcome you to the rollercoaster that is parenting an ADHDer, and I’d like to congratulate you on being chosen as one of the few who get to raise the Richard Branson’s of the future.

So how many times have you been told your child is spoilt?
How many times has someone said to you “Don’t you know Ritalin is addictive!?”
Have you ever been told that you need to discipline your child more?
And how about the ever popular “How could you drug your child?”
And how many of you get those gilt-edged all but engraved invitations to parents evening with specially allocated timeslots and your name on a list on the door.
And how many of you have wanted to trade places with the parents who are sitting on the row of chairs outside a classroom- waiting their turn to see the teacher inside- when you walk past whilst they glare at you and wonder how come you get to jump the queue?
Add to that having teachers and caregivers telling you your child is disruptive, that he can’t sit still, and they don’t know that to do with him.
That he’s failing.
It’s no wonder we don’t talk about our kid’s disability.

I once read that having ADHD was like a person driving a Ferrari fitted with Toyota brakes. There’s all the beauty, power and speed, but none of the control. Its one of my favourite ADHD metaphors and I use it to remind myself and my son that he is brilliant- but needs guidance.

Think about all the ways your child’s ADHD affects you. Think about how it affects your home life, and your social life. ADHD does not only turn a kid’s schooling upside down. It’s not only at school that he can’t concentrate or focus on what he needs to do. Think of the concessions you make at home, the concerns you have if you go out somewhere. Think of the costs involved in his treatment.
And when you worry about it, remember that your ADHDer will worry about it too because he will pick it up from you.

If you are anything like me, then you’ve cried yourself to sleep at night, wondering what you could have, or should have done differently. You’ve lain awake trying to fathom why it’s your kid who has to be the one diagnosed with this “thing”. You battle to grasp why even the simplest lessons don’t seem to stick in his head despite your and the teacher’s best efforts. You will torture yourself trying to understand why he can remember all the biological names for different shark species, but he can’t pass a spelling test. You lose sleep worrying ceaselessly about your child’s future and what he’s going to be able to achieve.
You see your dreams of your child possibly becoming a surgeon or a lawyer, melting like ice-cream dropped on hot tar.
And when you wake up in the morning, most of the worry is gone, and the thing that remains is the determination to prove your child will be different, and ensure your child will pass.
This is not a bad thing- but unless you understand a little bit about how ADHD works, you can do immeasurable damage to your relationship with your child and to his self esteem.
Then after an afternoon of fighting over incomprehensibly difficult homework that should be a breeze, and having to replace yet another lunch tin, you cry yourself to sleep again.

And trust me, no matter how much research you do, you will still ask yourself the same questions over and over again. Second guessing the decisions you’ve already made and wracking your brain for solutions.

When you want to scream with exasperation because you’ve gotten yet another phone call from the school, or the twelfth detention notification for the year has been retrieved from the depths of his probably dilapidated school bag- stop and think for a second about how you feel every time this happens.
As a grown up you can probably process your emotions, thoughts and frustrations. You can think things through. You can try and find workable solutions.
Maybe you have a blog like I do, or keep a diary. Or maybe you see a shrink regularly (which I highly recommend by the way).
You can put words to your emotions.

Your ADHDer will battle to do that. He will battle with that and a lot of other real life scenarios that the rest of us don’t think twice about.
And you will feel your ADHDers pain and frustration by parental osmosis.
And your ADHDer, because he is the emotional sweetheart that he is- will feel what you feel because he can see what you’re going through. And he will also know he has “caused” it- but he won’t know why, or how to deal with those feelings.
And so the cycle continues.

Let me give you a few examples.
Your ADHDer will battle to read body language and pick up on subtle visual and aural cues. This is because he’s looking but not seeing, and listening but really not hearing.
He will over react to jokes, and a little bit of teasing from Uncle Harry at the family Christmas lunch. And when he explodes with shouting and tears you will react accordingly.
Unless you’re Yoda, you will probably take some kind of action against your ADHDer for over-reacting, whilst Uncle Harry and the rest of the family may wonder why your ADHDer is so immature. Makes for an uncomfortable day all round.
However, if you include your family in what you’re all going through, they may be willing and eager to help you out. Even if Uncle Harry says “he doesn’t believe ADHD exists”, the majority of people want to know how to help you because they love you.

Most of the time- when an ADHDer is out of his regular “home setting”- he’ll be interested in his environs because it’s new, and different and interesting.
This is one of the reasons people who meet your ADHDer for the first time will be blown away by his chatty, interested, engaging demeanour. Take him to the same place and the same people a few times and the novelty wears off.
This is a part of the reason why granny and Grampa will tell you he’s no problem when he’s with them, when he all but drives you to drink!
It could also be a little insight into why ADHDers who spend weekends with their other parent are so different when they’re there.
If you keep this in mind, you won’t find yourself asking “why?” all over again when he gets back to you and back to normal.

I know how fearful we all are of labelling our children, but giving your family- and others- guidelines on how to deal with your ADHDer (whether you’re around or not) is vital.
Whether the people you interact with on a regular basis “believe in ADHD” or not is beside the point. You need to make them understand that you believe it is real, and that it affects you and yours- and especially your ADHDer- in a very big way.
You need to put your foot down.
The consequences can be dismal…
If you ask a family member or a friend to have your ADHDer overnight, or for a few days so you can have a much-deserved “me time”, you may have some well-meaning but misinformed aunt/ uncle/ best friend not ensure your ADHDer takes his meds or sticks to his diet because they don’t want to “play policeman”.
If like my Damien, your ADHDer is hyperactive with a capital H, and impulsive- not taking his meds will make him unmanageable for whoever is looking after him, but they will not immediately put it down to the fact that he hasn’t had his meds.
They’ll wonder what they hell had gotten into him! Your ADHDer will have a wonderful time, unfettered and full of marvellous ideas, and unable to understand the change in attitude towards him. And their trying to bribe him or threaten him into being quiet or behaving himself will have little or no result and just frustrate everyone.
In all likelihood they won’t even tell you, but you probably won’t be able to ask them for help again any time soon.
But if you’re firm from the time that you start to share what you’re going through- you’ll get the help you need.

And sharing your child’s disability benefits him too.
If people accept that he has a disorder- and there will always be those who don’t- he gets that little bit more patience and attention that he needs. He gets a little bit of leeway for making a noise because his loved ones will learn to pick their battles as you do.
If he’s not hurting himself or putting himself or anyone else in harms way you can probably ignore whatever it is he’s doing.
If he wants to wear the same shirt every day for a week, ask him every day if he’s sure he wants to wear it, and let it go.
If he refuses to brush his teeth- leave it. It’s not worth arguing about. Just remind him about it gently and let it go.
People who know and love your ADHDer will see his brilliance too, and with gentle and regular reminders that he has a disability, they’ll have even more of a chance to see what he can become with the right guidance.
And if you speak to your ADHDer about his treatment and involve him in it, it will help him understand why he sometimes feels so frustrated that he screams. Involving him means you can perhaps give him words to use or other options when he feels annoyed with himself.
Involving him also means that he will understand- even if it’s just a little bit- why it is that you are crying yourself to sleep sometimes.
Involving your child’s school in his treatment means he benefits from his teachers’ awareness of his disorder as well as from other concessions that diagnosed ADHDers are allowed- like extra time in exams and tests. One of the first people who will pick up a change in your ADHDers behaviour is his teacher, and giving her a heads’ up will allow her to help you and your ADHDer.

Just about everything in an ADHDers life is a battle of some kind.
Making and keeping friends.
Simple social settings are immensely complicated.
They love to be the centre of attention and this is misconstrued by the general population because they come across as brash and overbearing and loud.
Bullies love ADHDers because it’s so easy to get a rise out of them.
Remembering to bring home school shoes, lunch tin, jersey and suitcase is a major exercise.
Completing homework assignments is a battle on its own- and then remembering to hand it in is a whole ‘nother kettle of bananas!
And they always seem to be in trouble of some kind because they simply do NOT think before they act.

This may seem like I’m going on and on about the negative- but the point I’m making is this.
There are things you can do to help your ADHDer with his daily battles. There are ways to help with homework and school. There are ways to help him recognise social cues.

Accepting your ADHDer has a disability is step one on this road.
Accepting that you will have to remind him every day to do simple things like put on his school shoes or remember to brush his teeth is step two.
And speaking to your friends, family and your ADHDer is step three.

After you’ve managed to do those three things- implementing the suggestions you find in books or hear in support groups is just that little bit easier.
And it really does get a little easier over time.

So thank you for your time; and thank you ADHASA for giving me the opportunity to share a little bit of my rollercoaster ride.

 
As a parent you know that reading is extremely important. Studies show that the more children read, the better readers and writers they become.

Now as you know, our son has language based learning issues. Getting him to sit still to read a book when he was young was torture. No matter how much I put inflection in my voice and used sound effects, I could only get a couple of minutes out of him. What I have found, however, is that over time I am able to add more and more time to our reading time together.

What I want to do today is to give you some really practical tips for reading with your child that can powerfully improve your child’s reading capabilities especially for elementary school kids.

First find out from your school, the comfort reading level of your child. Each “grade” has multiple reading levels and your child is testing probably at least twice during the school year to determine his or her reading level.

Then what you need to do is to get a list of books at your child’s comfort reading level as well as a list of books at the next two reading levels above. You can get these lists either from your school, your school library, the public library and or online resources. For instance, Scholastic has an online book wizard that helps to list books by reading level.

Of course, there are many systematic approaches to reading levels and you need to understand which system your school uses. For instance some of the approaches for reading levels are Guided Reading, Basal Level, DRP (Degrees of Reading Power), Reading Recovery, DRA Level and Lexile Level. Our school uses the Basal rating system and our son’s comfort reading level is at PP2.

Then get a bunch of books at your child’s comfort reading level and then some books above your child’s comfort reading level. The books which are above your child’s comfort reading level (just one or two levels above) are the books that you read out loud to your child. Try to read out loud to your child each day for 15 to 20 minutes.

Then have your child read to you at their comfort level for 15 to 20 minutes. If you child is struggling to read, then these books may seem to be too young for them. They are not. It is extremely important for the child to do their practice reading at a comfort level that works for them where they experience success and not frustration.

Studies have actually shown that when children practice reading at their comfort level on a consistent basis, they can increase their reading capabilities dramatically and some children have even “jumped” reading levels simply by practicing at their comfort level.

That’s it. If you find that your child is getting extremely frustrated with some words or consistently misreads certain words, write them down on an index card and practice them a couple times of week. When your child starts reading the word correctly consistently, then they can be removed from the practice read.

I have found with our son that if I start with the parent read-aloud, it eases him into our reading time and then he is much better when it comes to his time to read.

In addition, our son does not have a good sense of time. To address that issue, I use a “Time Timer” which visually represents the amount of time we are going to read. I learned about this product from a speech therapist blogger whose blog can be found at ifonlyihadsuperpowers.blogspot.com. She has great product, book and website recommendations as well as general “food for thought.” So with the Time Timer, my son can visually check how much time we have left instead of constantly interrupting our reading time with the question, “how much time is left?”

The order in which you read with your child is not important, and the amount of time you start with to read is not important. Just do it and see the amazing progress that your child will achieve.

Good luck and happy reading!!! Until next time …

Karen

 

 
Learning Issues, ADD and Grief

So I call my little peanut, my little onion as well because we just keep peeling back the layers to understand more. As you know, we recently got a diagnosis of ADHD (inattentive) for our son. This, I recently realized, has been a dramatic framework shift for me. Let me explain.

Because he is young, we have been working on and with his learning issues and trying to figure out which issues are based on learning differences and which are based on immaturity. The learning needs school that he has been attending is a transition school. This means that they work with the child to discover their strengths and to establish methodologies and frameworks that work to help the child address their learning weaknesses. They also teach the child to advocate for themselves and their learning needs. When the child has a strong learning toolset and the understanding and mindset to be their own learning advocate, the goal is to transition them back to a mainstream school.

So with my logical, rational mind, we have focused on teaching our son the various tools that he needs to address his learning weaknesses. Great. Got it. That I can deal with. Homework has been and continues to be a real struggle but I have found ways to be creative in order to, hopefully, keep him engaged.

Now with this diagnosis of ADD and the realization that this is a lifelong impairment …. Well I have waves of sadness that just come over me. Now the rational, logical side of me knows that there are situations that are much much worse … a life threatening health condition, for instance. But to know that my child will have to struggle with this for a lifetime and that this impairment often has such a huge impact on the individual’s emotional well being … makes me very sad.

So I just realized that even though my focus is on do-do-do.
1. We have him trying a new school for the summer;
2. We have an appointment with the Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania to confirm the diagnosis;
3. I have found an ADHD therapist to work with;
4. I met with an integrative/holistic expert to explore diet, natural supplements and vitamins;
5. and I am reading, reading, reading ..

I need to slow down to let myself feel. I need to feel sad and I need to grieve and I need to let myself cry.

I need to let myself cry for the fact that my child has differences that require special help in order to live in this world. To grieve for the fact that often life is hard and, for him, its going to be a little bit harder. So my hope is that when I finally give into the sadness and the crying, that I will be able to embrace the sadness and then let it go.

What about you? Are you embracing your feelings or are you going through the motion while emotionally numb? I am not going to let that happen to me … please don’t let that happen to you. So here is to embracing and releasing.

Thanks for watching and until next time.

Karen

Tracy Nicolaus has ADHD and has 3 sons, each of whom has ADD or ADHD. Tracy shares about her life, her writing and her wisdom gained from having ADHD and raising children with ADHD. Her writing is emotionally charged, funny and, at times, a little crazy (LOL). Her writings are mostly entertaining with wisdoms sprinkled throughout.

Tracy Nicolaus

Raising 3 wonderful sons was the greatest adventure of my life! 2 ADD and one severely ADHD (like his momma) gave me stamina, patience, and a sense of humor. Anyone who has raised a kid or 2 like this, or who lives with ADHD themselves may appreciate these poems and stories. Feel free to share them with friends and family and link to my page I need all the help and support I can get! You know what else? YOU DO TOO!

 
I am an ADHD adult. I was diognosed in the late 1980s after my 5 year old son was put on medication for ADHD & I saw that he wasn’t the only one with issues. Finding an MD to test me for something I was ’supposed’ to grow out of was quite difficult! But with tenacity & blatant pushiness, I finally pioneered my way into treatment. Today I am a very happy & content freelance writer and singer. Your comments are very important to me, I have a deficiency in attention after all… SO PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! We ADHD/ADD folks need as many strokes as we can get. After getting beaten up by the world for years, our view of ourselves can become a bit askew. So if you have ADHD or ADD let me say, YOU ROCK!!! Way to go, you found us and you never have to feel “less than” again! If your parenting an ADHD/ADD kid let me say, I’m SO SORRY… lol (tounge in cheek), YOU hit the jackpot! You have a child that will teach you the meaning of being truly alive! I’m involved in recovery and I do a lot of work with other women and girls facing drug or alcohol addiction, I was born and raised in northern California and I LOVE it here.
 

Sample blog entry

http://tracynicolaus.blogspot.com/2008/10/please-help-me-my-adhd-son-is-driving.html

This is a portion of an email chain between Tracy and another mom who needed help and support. Here is a portion of the “conversation.”

 
FROM: Tracy
OCT. 13, 2008, at 6:54 AM

I was a single mom of three boys. Cody had one of the worst cases of
ADHD the doc had ever seen. The others had ADD but not bad enough for
treatment.

You wrote “I feel like i am always yelling and that he is always
being punished”

Yes, I was always yelling too, and an amazing therapist told me to
look for the things Cody was doing right, ignore the bad stuff to the
best of my ability (in other words, choose your battles wisely). What
the therapist didn’t understand is that I never could catch him doing
anything right!

So I had to start small… if he took his plate to the kitchen,
“Thank you sweetie for taking your plate to the kitchen, you really
are helpful”.

For NOT yelling in the car “Cody, I really appreciate you talking in
such a calm tone, it helps me drive better and understand you more”.

Of course at first, whenever I’d mention what he was doing right,
he’d act out Immediately, like in the car, he’d begin yelling.

He was uncomfortable and unfamiliar with my behavior so it was
understandable. I just ignored it and turned my attention elsewhere.
“Cody, isn’t that the restaurant that had those horrible burgers? or
” Do you know what kind of tree that is?”, after some time and TONS
of patience he began getting used to the positive affirmation and the
results were noticeable.

Since you have older kids, you will want to have them in on it.
As annoying as he may be to them, have them do as your doing.

The other thing we did was play a game together. Every time we went
thru a stop sign or a stop light and every time we walked thru a
door, we said “I’m valuable and lovable” OUT LOUD. Both of us. If you
can get the girls to do it as well, make it a family game it will
help. We felt totally stupid at first of course, then it was kind of
fun to beat the other to the punch, or catch one another forgetting.

ADHD folks are competitive, he will enjoy the game if you can get him
to buy into it. After some time, I really noticed a difference, in
myself primarily. I’m positive that it turned a huge corner for both
of us.

It was important for me to get a proper diagnosis as well. I began
taking medication and it was like someone had taken the hundreds of
puzzle pieces of my life and fit them all together. I distinctly
remember saying “Oh my God! This must be what everyone else feels
like!” I said it out loud in my living room, I was alone but it’s one
of those memories that is etched into my soul permanently.

When my behavior cleared up, it was much easier to see the situation clearer.
I highly recommend that you get tested and treated. Keep in mind that
each person is unique. Getting the right combo. of meds can be trying
at best, but mostly very very frustrating. Be patient with yourself.

You are in the midst of what I called “the coping years”. Cope. That
is the best we can do at times.

Never forget that Chad has more ability than disability. ADHD people
have some remarkable talents and gifts. Our job as parents is too
think outside the box. Give up the idea that he is ever going to be
like anyone else and it will take a lot of the pressure off of him.

I found a website that showed famous people with ADD… think I’ll go
find it and post it.
Thank God for ADHD, these people bring color to our world.

Blessings
Tracy