Routine Rules!!!  This has worked well for us especially when it comes to homework.  We have a significant amount of homework each night due to our son’s learning differences.  It has taken some time to get to this point but nightly homework now goes pretty smoothly.  We do the homework in the same place, in the same subject order at approximately the same time each night.  There is no longer the nightly battles to do the homework — it is amazing. So for those of you going through the nightly homework battle, take heart.  I believe that if you consistently pursue the homework battles and establish a routine of what, when and how — you too will achieve a point where homework is no longer a nightly battle.

I didn’t really believe that we would get to this point.  If I think back on all of the battles, the tears, and the exhaustion … thank goodness I have a stubborn streak a mile wide!!

We have also added another element to our homework routine.  Our school does offer an after-school study program.  It is a safe environment where our son can start to transition to independent homework under the close supervision of teachers.  We do this two times per week and both us and our son love it.  He gets most of his homework done at a reasonable hour and he is very proud of the fact that he is starting to transition to being an independent responsible student.  This is a concept strongly messaged and reinforced in our son’s school.  Each student is responsible for doing their work with their best effort possible.  This is expected at school and at home.  After nearly 2 years of this messaging, the responsibility concept is really starting to take root.

Now don’t get me wrong, we still have our setbacks, of course.  There are times when our son is frustrated and the fits and tears come back but they are fewer and fewer and they are much easier to handle at this point.

I know in the throes of homework battles that it is difficult to keep going.  Goodness knows that I have had my times of exhaustion when I absolutely could not fight another battle.  I had to take a break for a couple of weeks to rejuvenate and restore.  The last time this happened, I was able to hold on until the couple of weeks of break between the regular school year and school camp (where he does reading and writing throughout the summer).

If you are in the throes of battle, please keep fighting the good fight.  Establish a nightly routine of homework and try to incorporate the message that it is your child’s responsibility as a good student to do their homework and to do it to the best of their ability.  When you do hit speed bumps in this, work with your child’s teacher(s) to reinforce the responsibility message at school as well.

Good luck and until next time ….. (which will hopefully not be a couple of months like this past time ….) …. take care.

Summertime.  A time to be carefree;  a free spirit; a new world explorer.  Or maybe not.

Our son loves to be home.  Given his choice, he would stay home pretty much most of the time — in his pajamas with his hair all messy and toys all around him.  He doesn’t, of course.  He is usually pretty busy between school, sports, OT and so forth.  However, we have had a two week break between the end of school and before summer camp starts.  Getting him out of the house with the babysitter has been a real challenge.

Don’t get me wrong.  In general, the babysitter situation, as I wrote in my last post, is working out well.  We hired a 17 year old boy and our son loves playing soccer, basketball and XBOX with him.  This is good.  However, he does not want to leave the house to go to the playground, or to the batting cages or to the YMCA pool.  I attribute this to his being uncomfortable with anything new which I think is part of his cognitive rigidity aspect of ADHD.  It is difficult for our son to face new situations and changes.

My approach to this has been twofold.  First, try to get a good friend to do the activity with him.  The idea being that a good friend provides our son with the comfortable framework that he needs.  Secondly, I strongly encourage him to try the activity (encourage might be a bit euphemistic) and tell him that if he does like not the activity then, after he tries it, he can come home.  Usually he then goes and has a great time!!

We go through this for every new activity.  It is frustrating, it is annoying and it makes me sad that it is often so difficult for him.  I remember my summer days of free flowing play and exploration and wish that things could be easier for our son.

I often question myself on whether he is just being a homebody or is it a form of anxiety/cognitive rigidity?    My mother’s instinct tells me that it is his anxiety.  And so we soldier on trying to think of new ways to make him comfortable enough to try new activities, situations and sports.  It is a daily battle that I wish was not a battle for him at all.

Do you face a similar situation?  How do you handle it?  Any ideas for me and for others would be greatly appreciated!!

Until next time …. Take care!!

Karen

One of the challenges associated with ADHD and ADD is “executive functioning”. I have talked about this before. This like so many other things is a confusing element to ADHD but one that I feel is really important to be aware of and necessary to understand the challenges of your child holistically. In fact, many experts in the field of ADHD/ADD are starting to suggest that ADHD be re-conceptualized as an “executive disorder” and deemphasize the focus on hyperactivity and attention. Problems with executive functioning are not limited, however, to only those with ADHD or ADD. Executive dysfunction sometimes is the only problem and sometimes is part of a larger problem.

The easiest way to think of executive functioning is that it is the administrative or managerial part of the human brain. Executive functioning has to do with organization, planning, self-control, and time management, for instance. Like anything else, any individual with executive functioning issues will have areas of strength and areas of weakness within the broad spectrum of executive functioning.

The reason I am writing this blog post is not only to raise awareness of executive functioning or dysfunction but also to state that executive dysfunction requires teaching, support and practice in order to be effectively addressed. There are things that you can do to help your child in the short term and there are processes to help teach them how to handle different situations and opportunities. Supporting your child in the areas of executive functioning is often required into high school and college. Like anything else, better executive functioning occurs with ongoing practice and support.

For me, one of the hardest challenges I have is gauging what is appropriate and when. I need to keep in mind that we have to understand our son’s strengths and weaknesses overall and to work with those strengths and weaknesses on an ongoing basis. The conquering of certain skill sets can only be achieved with consistent practice and it takes time. Thinking in terms of support of executive functioning in this way has helped me a lot to establish a mindset for myself in helping our son.

I have heard this often in my ongoing research but I feel that it is important to stress that our son is not defined by his challenges. Our son is an amazing child who is fun and funny and full of energy and life. He has his strengths and weaknesses like we all do. All of our efforts are focused on supporting who he is so that he can continue to experience success and grow into a confident young man.

I am just learning about the process of supporting executive functioning. It turns out that we have already been implementing strategies to help our son especially in the area of transitions. For instance, we use the 5 minute warning, 3 minute warning and 1 minute warning for all changes in activity so that he has time to adjust. It turns out that “transitions” fall within the area of “Cognitive Flexibility”. Cognitive Flexibility is defined as the ability to problem solve in a flexible, dynamic way and/or the ability to address new situations. So as we learn more, I will share what I have learned with you.

Until then …. Take care.

http://canmombecalm.blogspot.com/2009/10/kill-homework-monster.html

Before I was married, I didn’t believe I would be nothing other than a No-Shit Mom.

Okay, this is the second time I used an inappropriate word on my blog and so I apologize if anyone is offended but some words just say it all.

My kid was going to study, I told myself up until he was born. He would not be spoiled. And he would be able to speak at least three languages, one of them being Mandarin Chinese. (By the way, I am not Chinese American)

Even when you have typical children, I’m sure parents laugh at themselves when they compare their pre-baby goals to their actual goals after birth. Gosh, now my goals are not even anywhere close to him being multilingual! My goals are more like: Logan will stay in his seat for five minutes without being told to do so. Logan will make one non-school friend by the end of 2009. Of course, now I must share my personal goal which of course is: Jenn will no longer need anti-anxiety medication after 2010 and/or lose 20 pounds.

Anyway, this year Logan is in Big School and with that I am dragged into the world of Homework Hell. Ohmigosh, this No-Shit Mom is no match for the ADHD Homework Monster. The Homework Monster has daily ways to annoy you so much that in twenty minutes, you don’t care if your child wrote the letter “b” or “d.” Just get it done and go to sleep! Argh!

THE REST OF THE POST CAN BE READ AT: http://canmombecalm.blogspot.com/2009/10/kill-homework-monster.html

Becky
I am… wife to a wonderful husband, mother to 2 awesome boys, daughter to fabulous parents, sister to 2 phenomenal women, friend to many… and a child of God.

Sample Blog Entry:

This Blog Post Can Be Found at : http://thepealfamily.blogspot.com/2009/09/easy-essays.html

Friday, September 11, 2009
Easy Essays
I stumbled upon this site this week and it has been a huge help to my older son who is not formally diagnosed but has mild ADHD symptoms. He really struggles with planning his thoughts and getting started on writing. He is in 5th grade this year and they are doing weekly essays – yeah more work for mom! I had a discussion with him yesterday about needing to do his essay before soccer practice and he complained that it would take too long and there was no way he could get it done before soccer… but when I got home, the essay was completed thanks to this wonderful FREE site! He said he did it in less than 30 minutes and it was the first time the essay actually flowed properly. Three cheers for The Easy Essay website!

www.theeasyessay.com

What, in my opinion, are the two most often cited sources of frustration and lack of understanding? I feel they are extended family and the school system. So I have been asking myself for days – how can I help to educate those who don’t know and don’t understand?

The problem is there is no universal definition for ADHD, Autism, Asperger’s, Anxiety or any number of neurological disorders (what is with all the “A”s?). Many of the symptoms can be associated with bad behavior, or lack of motivation or any number of negative things. There disabilities are particularly challenging, in my opinion, because they are “invisible”. I find that what little awareness exists is focused on the hyperactive and impulsive symptoms of ADHD which certainly can be challenging, are very visible but are not, often, the most challenging aspects of the disability.

The questions I have been asking myself include:

How do I quickly define what it is … It must be simple and direct calling for understanding …

What form should it be in so that it can be effective yet not require too much effort on the part of the receiver of information ?

Can it be something that can be handed to the individual to cause them to stop, reflect and want to understand more?

Jenn over at www.canmombecalm.blogspot.com is asking the same question. View her thoughts here http://canmombecalm.blogspot.com/2009/09/adhd-awareness-week-what-does-it-do.html,

I am trying to model my response to my own questions by looking at CC at http://www.ifonlyihadsuperpowers.blogspot.com (http://ifonlyihadsuperpowers.blogspot.com/2009/09/therapy-thursday-what-we-do-in-speech.html) as an example. CC was challenged by her principal “to consider our students in twenty years. What values and life skills do we hope they will learn from our class? Beyond the day to day articulation drills, what impact do we aspire for in their lives?.” This could be viewed as a tough and complicated question to answer. CC very cleverly answered it in the following way, “In speech, we learn self confidence and clear communication skills!”

Is there a simple and eloquent way to quickly make others stop and think about ADHD? I would love to hear your thoughts as I continue to mull over this vexing problem. Please comment with your thoughts and forward to family and friends for their thoughts. Let’s answer this question together and help educate those around us on ADHD and its implications.

For many of us parents, homework time can be a very frustrating part of the day. This is especially true for those of us who have children with ADHD or learning disabilities. How can you work with your child to make homework time easier? I call it the 3 R’s — Routine, Reward and Relax!!

First, if you can, meet with your child’s teachers with you child at the start of the school year. Present a united front and lay out expectations for the year and explicitly offer advice and options if the child is having trouble with the material (age appropriately). Set up a system to regularly communicate with the teachers. We use a communication notebook that goes back and forth to school every day.

2. Make homework a daily routine – at the same time and the same place. Make sure the environment is comfortable and appropriate and aids concentration and productivity. We use our kitchen table and make sure that we have all the materials on hand that we will need. We also make sure that no one else is in the room!

3. Set up a short term reward system. Points, poker chips, pretend money, stickers or something immediate for that day such as TV time or game time are all a good basis for a reward system. Children with ADHD are highly motivated by short term rewards which could be daily or weekly. Develop a system that works best for you and your child.

I have found with my son that the more visual the reward system, the better it works. Post it somewhere on your refrigerator or anywhere where it is in plain view. It reminds your child of what they are working towards.

4. Break down the homework into smaller tasks with breaks in between. Plan with your child what is to be done and when break are to be taken. Plan together what the activities will be during the short, timed breaks. Even within subjects, break down the homework into smaller, more manageable pieces. For instance, for math homework, only show one column of problems at a time.

5. When and if you child reaches a frustration point, take a break but make the break explicit. “You seem like you are getting frustrated. Let’s go take a break for 5 minutes and then come back to the work refreshed.

6. When homework is finished, have your child organize it and put it away in their back pack so it is ready to go for the next day.

7. This is a good time, too, to plan for the next day. Lunch, snacks and outfits are all next-day tasks that can be taken care of so that the morning routine is easier.

8. As your child gets older and more independent, transition from homework helper to homework coach. A homework coach helps with planning for homework and projects, discussing what needs to be done and offering guidance on breaking the tasks down, and offering encouragement.

So remember, it is Routine, Reward and Relax!! I hope your nights of homework go smoothly. Until next time …. take care.

Karen

1. Achievement: An assessment of our son’s current academic skills.

Word Recognition

Spelling

Reading Comprehension

Math Computation

Math Reasoning
 
2. Memory

Verbal Memory – Retention of spoken information.

Visual Memory – Retention of visual information important in memorizing information that is
presented as a picture.

Attention/Concentration

General Memory – The aggregate of the three memory skills listed above.
 
3. Processing

Visual-Motor Integration – The accurate visual perception of a geometric shape and then the
integration of that perception with a precise fine-motor movement
in order to copy it.

Phonetic Decoding – Perhaps THE most crucially important reading skill.

Phonological Awareness – The realization that spoken words are not one sound, but
are made up of several sounds.

Fluency (Rapid Naming) – Research shows that rapid naming of a series of letters and
numbers is a powerful predictor of reading achievement.
 
 
I realize that these categories are age and grade specific. However, by having the information grouped into categories and then broken down into specific areas with one sentence definitions, I was able to understand my son’s issues at a much deeper level than I have ever been able to before.

Previously our Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children IV (WISC-IV) results had been grouped into the following categories: Verbal Comprehension, Perceptual Reasoning, Working Memory, and Processing Speed with no further explanation into the sub-categories. In several categories, the testing results were presented as a “scaled score”. I still have no idea what that is.

Who else feels the same way about special needs test results? If you do, email me at kgriffithgryga@lipstickwisdom.com and tell me your stories and ideas. Now how do I get started on this Plain English movement?

1. Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive
2. Predominantly inattentive
3. Combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive

The most prominent features of ADHD include:

1. An inability to control behavior or impulses.
2. An inability to delay gratification.
3. Excessive physical activity that is unrelated to the activity at hand.
4. Poor ability to sustain attention or to persist with tasks.
 
Each individual with ADHD is different with their own set of strengths and challenges. However, in addition to the hyperactivity or the inattentiveness, the ADHD child often has challenges in a group of skills called executive functions. According to Wikipedia, executive functions is a “concept used by psychologists and neuroscientists to describe a loosely defined collection of brain processes which are responsible for planning, cognitive flexibility, abstract thinking, rule acquisition, initiating appropriate actions and inhibiting inappropriate actions, and selecting relevant sensory information”.
 
Often with the ADHD child, the impairment is more than them being hyperactive or inattentive. Other possible ramifications or symptoms of the child with ADHD include challenges, limitations or problems with:

1. Organization

10. Great variability in task or work performance.

Bottom line, the disorder is complicated and manifests itself in many ways. In addition to all of this, there is a high incidence of learning issues as well as anxiety and depression for those with ADHD.
 
I believe that it is up to the family to educate the teachers and administers on the wide range of challenges their child faces due to ADHD. Do not assume that they know or understand. Remember that you know your child best. However the ideal situation occurs when the parents, teachers and administrators work together to creatively deploy and teach strategies that address the child’s weaknesses. Strategies like lists, reminders, previews, and repetition help the child with ADHD address the realities of the disorder and teach ways to cope with the challenges of the disorder. That ideal situation cannot occur, however, until teachers and administrators are educated. We all need to do our part to make that happen.
 
 
I close with a Bill of Rights that I found on a blog of a mother who son, 18, was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6. Her name is Angel, she lives in South Africa and shares her story of raising her son (among other topics) at http://www.angelsmind.co.za.

 
 
ADHD Bill of Rights

1.“Help me to focus…” Please teach me through my sense of ‘touch’, I need ‘hands on’ and ‘body movement’.

Author unknown

 

To learn more about the ADHD Executive Functioning Research that has been conducted please see:

Great summary chart of the Executive Function Domains can be found at http://www.lehighpsych.com/art_adhd.htm

Dr. Thomas E Brown
http://www.drthomasebrown.com/brown_model/index.html

Dr. Russell Barkley
http://www.russellbarkley.org/adhd-nature-of-self-control-book.htm

http://www.chrisdendy.com/executive.htm

http://www.thehelpgroup.org/pdf/adhd-dys/Brown_ADHD.pdf