Sink or Swim
Our son can be very difficult about the most mundane activities. Like brushing his teeth. We brush his teeth together 2 times a day — most days. And he fights me with brushing his teeth — most days. This fighting back is more than the typical child is having-a-cranky-day-and-refuses-to-cooperate type scenarios. How do I explain this so that my readers understand? If you are a mother of a neuro-atypical child then you probably don’t need an explanation. If you are a mother of a neuro-typical child, well, its just that every little thing can become a battle. It is just the way it is with his neurological makeup. It is not misbehavior … it just is. How did I do with that explanation?
So this daily teeth brushing battle can be really wearing. In isolation it is not a big deal. But taken in the broader context of daily life, it is a battle I wish I did not have to fight.
So the question is — do I put the responsibility of teeth brushing solely on him? If he brushes his teeth — great. If he does not brush his teeth — great. Then when his teeth and breath get so disgusting, will his friends say anything to him? Will that shock him into action?
What do you think? Do I place the responsibility of teeth brushing on a 9 year old that tends to be younger than that in terms of maturity?
I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions!
Thanks,
Karen
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October 11th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Hi Karen, My son is 8, and has ADHD- it was so funny to read your comments- our children must be pretty similar! Our daily battle circles around brushing teeth too. It’s exhausting to go over it every day, but I feel like a terrible mom if I don’t try to emphasize how important teeth brushing is. Sometimes I have to let it go for the day- we’ve also set up consequences I try to enforce for days when I get outright refusal from him. I try to balance my need to get him dressed, out the door, with his homework, lunch, etc and I realized that somedays tooth brushing is just not going to happen, and that’s okay!
January 30th, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Oh LAWDY do I hear you!
I reached a point with my almost 20 year old son where- after years of brushing our teeth together so I could make sure he did so- I would remind him once in the morning to brush his teeth and leave it to him to decide.
We had so many other battles that we fought on an almost daily basis, over homework and medication, that brushing his teeth was a minor issue. He still has all his teeth, and apart from a couple of fillings they’re pretty healthy, so brushing them every other day was obviously enough…
I must be honest though, fighting over these daily habits and the fact that AD/HD children can’t seem to master them is one of the things most discussed in my support group meetings, especially with parents who are new to parenting a child with AD/HD.