http://tracynicolaus.blogspot.com/

Tracy Nicolaus has ADHD and has 3 sons, each of whom has ADD or ADHD. Tracy shares about her life, her writing and her wisdom gained from having ADHD and raising children with ADHD. Her writing is emotionally charged, funny and, at times, a little crazy (LOL). Her writings are mostly entertaining with wisdoms sprinkled throughout.

Tracy Nicolaus

Raising 3 wonderful sons was the greatest adventure of my life! 2 ADD and one severely ADHD (like his momma) gave me stamina, patience, and a sense of humor. Anyone who has raised a kid or 2 like this, or who lives with ADHD themselves may appreciate these poems and stories. Feel free to share them with friends and family and link to my page I need all the help and support I can get! You know what else? YOU DO TOO!

 
I am an ADHD adult. I was diognosed in the late 1980s after my 5 year old son was put on medication for ADHD & I saw that he wasn’t the only one with issues. Finding an MD to test me for something I was ’supposed’ to grow out of was quite difficult! But with tenacity & blatant pushiness, I finally pioneered my way into treatment. Today I am a very happy & content freelance writer and singer. Your comments are very important to me, I have a deficiency in attention after all… SO PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! We ADHD/ADD folks need as many strokes as we can get. After getting beaten up by the world for years, our view of ourselves can become a bit askew. So if you have ADHD or ADD let me say, YOU ROCK!!! Way to go, you found us and you never have to feel “less than” again! If your parenting an ADHD/ADD kid let me say, I’m SO SORRY… lol (tounge in cheek), YOU hit the jackpot! You have a child that will teach you the meaning of being truly alive! I’m involved in recovery and I do a lot of work with other women and girls facing drug or alcohol addiction, I was born and raised in northern California and I LOVE it here.
 

Sample blog entry

http://tracynicolaus.blogspot.com/2008/10/please-help-me-my-adhd-son-is-driving.html

This is a portion of an email chain between Tracy and another mom who needed help and support. Here is a portion of the “conversation.”

 
FROM: Tracy
OCT. 13, 2008, at 6:54 AM

I was a single mom of three boys. Cody had one of the worst cases of
ADHD the doc had ever seen. The others had ADD but not bad enough for
treatment.

You wrote “I feel like i am always yelling and that he is always
being punished”

Yes, I was always yelling too, and an amazing therapist told me to
look for the things Cody was doing right, ignore the bad stuff to the
best of my ability (in other words, choose your battles wisely). What
the therapist didn’t understand is that I never could catch him doing
anything right!

So I had to start small… if he took his plate to the kitchen,
“Thank you sweetie for taking your plate to the kitchen, you really
are helpful”.

For NOT yelling in the car “Cody, I really appreciate you talking in
such a calm tone, it helps me drive better and understand you more”.

Of course at first, whenever I’d mention what he was doing right,
he’d act out Immediately, like in the car, he’d begin yelling.

He was uncomfortable and unfamiliar with my behavior so it was
understandable. I just ignored it and turned my attention elsewhere.
“Cody, isn’t that the restaurant that had those horrible burgers? or
” Do you know what kind of tree that is?”, after some time and TONS
of patience he began getting used to the positive affirmation and the
results were noticeable.

Since you have older kids, you will want to have them in on it.
As annoying as he may be to them, have them do as your doing.

The other thing we did was play a game together. Every time we went
thru a stop sign or a stop light and every time we walked thru a
door, we said “I’m valuable and lovable” OUT LOUD. Both of us. If you
can get the girls to do it as well, make it a family game it will
help. We felt totally stupid at first of course, then it was kind of
fun to beat the other to the punch, or catch one another forgetting.

ADHD folks are competitive, he will enjoy the game if you can get him
to buy into it. After some time, I really noticed a difference, in
myself primarily. I’m positive that it turned a huge corner for both
of us.

It was important for me to get a proper diagnosis as well. I began
taking medication and it was like someone had taken the hundreds of
puzzle pieces of my life and fit them all together. I distinctly
remember saying “Oh my God! This must be what everyone else feels
like!” I said it out loud in my living room, I was alone but it’s one
of those memories that is etched into my soul permanently.

When my behavior cleared up, it was much easier to see the situation clearer.
I highly recommend that you get tested and treated. Keep in mind that
each person is unique. Getting the right combo. of meds can be trying
at best, but mostly very very frustrating. Be patient with yourself.

You are in the midst of what I called “the coping years”. Cope. That
is the best we can do at times.

Never forget that Chad has more ability than disability. ADHD people
have some remarkable talents and gifts. Our job as parents is too
think outside the box. Give up the idea that he is ever going to be
like anyone else and it will take a lot of the pressure off of him.

I found a website that showed famous people with ADD… think I’ll go
find it and post it.
Thank God for ADHD, these people bring color to our world.

Blessings
Tracy